At times, I am so full of myself, other times, I want to kill myself. Looking back the past 20-odd years, what have I really achieved on a personal basis? An over-achiever? Definitely not. An under-achiever? Absolutely not. So, what am I? I have no regrets or whatsoever because no point fretting and mulling about the past mistakes or to cry over spilt milk. But I dare say, over the last few years, there were indeed too much of a lesson for me to learn and teachings to ponder.
At some turning point, I seemed to enter another dimension of my life. I feel detached. Clam up. Lonely. Cynical. Unable to comprehend just about anything happening around me. Ironically, my life feels empty yet full of void. It is like I have been encaved in an opague snowglobe, amidst in a world too finely balanced between the desire to succeed and the temptation to give up. I can't see/ feel/ hear anything for I am enveloped in total inky darkness. Why am I in such fitful plights? This is inexplicable, impausible and complicated! I need to find peace and confidence within my innermost self-being.
Who can wholly empathize with this situation? Can you hear me calling out to YOU? Would YOU not lend me YOUR HAND and lift me up?
I need to find a PURPOSE in life. I believe so that each and everyone of us has a purpose to fulfill in his life. I think I need FAITH as well to believe in myself. I need HIM.