I Am GREEN

got this test from a friend of mine....try it out.

U, your true color is Green!

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

Tickle Test - What's Your Colour?

MOS

Joined my gf and her German friends for party just a couple of hours ago. Patronised the new club in town, MOS (also known as Ministry of Sound). Cool place...you should check it out!!

MinistryOfSound

Damp

My spirits akin to the weather now...wet and dampened. I could almost smell the rain.

Snowflakes

Do drop me some snowflakes in my guestbooks....(@ bottom right corner of my blog).

Pressies

This year, I've got 3 xmas gift and they all happened to be something that I have always wanted.

- A lime green IPOD mini from HIM

- An adidas sport watch (red colour) from my sista

- Doraemon Set (6 pcs) from jp

Grazie!! Merci!! Arigato!! Kamsa Hamida!! Thank You!!

5 Reasons Why I Love Christmas

1: A reminder why we celebrate xmas, the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ

2: The festive mood, the xmas lightings, decorations and xmas tree

3: Gatherings - good company, big feast and of course sparkling wines

4: Carols - what is xmas without some caroling??
"Hark! Now hear, the angels sing!
A new KING born today
Men will live forever more
Because of CHRISTMAS day!!"

5: Giving/ receiving and exchanging of xmas cards and gifts

Ho!Ho!Ho!Merry Christmas!!!

On A Friday Night Like This...

We haven't been spending much Fridays together recently, for we are both engaged in our own activities. Hence, I requested for us to spend this Friday night alone. It wasn't anything in spectacular that we did, yet I enjoyed it tremendously

I could almost hear our stomach rumbling like the drum roll...haha..the sound was thunderous. He told me, his mind can only think of the frog porridge and nothing else. This statement simply means, he had an appetitie like a cow (read: can eat alot lor).

Took a bus, delayed our dinner time by a little due to the jam during peak hours, i think due to the pangs of hunger, the journey seemed extremely long and arduous. Nevertheless, we managed to alight at the right bus stop and found the new place for frog porridge @ Geylang Lor 7 quite effortlessly. But one look into the coffeeshop, I turned my back. It didn't seem a very popular place and I don't see any customer having the frog porridge. In fact, the banner was to tiny and we almost missed it. It was 3 frogs for S$15. After much persuasion and hesitation, I managed to get him to go back to the old stall that we usually visit.

I guess an angry man is a hungry man, he seemed a little upset about changing venue. As a guy, when they set their eye on an objective, they would want to accomplish it. And today is to try out the porridge at the new stall. But I wasn't adventurous and game enough to try it. Called it my instinct, I rather spent my $$ on some food which I knew would taste delicious.

Lucky that the old stall was just a stone throw away, we ordered my favourite "gong bao tian ji" and a plate of fried osyters (oily but yummy!!). Very simple but fulfilling meal. After the dinner, with bloated tummies, we took a slow stroll down the lane. Saw many massage parlours on the way. But the look at it, with ladies skimpily dressed and parading their cleavage, I guess these massage parlour isn't just a decent parlour but one with EXTRA services. Along the way, I saw men negotiating with ladies (again dressed skimpily) and when a deal is being striked, they just simply walked away together. I hate the idea of being alone in geylang, because the chances of being mistaken as a "call girl" is highly possible, with lusting men lurking around.

Well, albeit all these, I enjoyed the stroll with him, knowing that he will protect me. Though it was a simple relaxed dinner and with no agenda, we can take things slowly . It is all these little simple things that make our hectic lives and lifestyle seemed more bearable

MINI Happiness

Supposed to book tickets for a weekend trip over to BKK for a x'mas getaway...but due to the super peak season now, the package prices are extremely exorbitant. Was a little upset and disappointed about not being able to go, deep down inside, I really want to get out of here to take a breather.

To compensate for the loss, I got an early x'mas prezzie...something I have always wanted. Yes, it's the IPOD MINI in LIME GREEN colour. Estactic...heehee..and it cost so much lesser than the BKK trip.

In addition, we have decided to visit the Night Safari and UnderWater World. ('o')/

Snap...Snap...Snap

Sooner or later, my friends ain't gonna talk to me anymore. Coz I just snapped at them. Imagine the aligator in the muddy swamp, with ugly, uneven teeth protruding from the side of his elongated mouth, ready to open and snap at his prey for a sumptuous meal. That's me..except that I don't practice cannibalism here.

Alot of my friends, out of concern, often the very first sentence they tried to start a conversation with goes like this...

Friend #1: Have you found a job yet??
Moi: Not yet but still trying...
Friend #1: Don't worry, you'll get one soon.
Moi: Thanks.

But there are also some others who showed their concern further, by making wrong assumptions and untactfully suggest their opinions of ME to ME!

Friend #2: Have you found a job yet??
Moi: Not yet but still trying...
Friend #2: Did you look for a job anot?
Moi: I did. But it's difficult to get a job at the end of the year.
Friend #3: Are you sure? I think you didn't put in effort.
Moi(my blood start to boil): I did, I sent in many resumes but was not called up for any interviews.
Friend #3: Don't be so picky
Moi (my blood hit boiling point and erupted like a volcano; i snapped): What makes you think that I am not putting in enough effort? I am more anxious and worried about not getting a job. I already lost count of the resumes I sent it but I just didn't get an interview. This is really beyond my control. *bark*
Friend #2: Dumbfounded *Silence*
The line went dead....(no lah, just joking but there was awkward silence though)

My dear dear friends out there (esp. friend #2), I really thank and appreciate each and everyone of you who showed concern for me. Indeed I am touched. Rest assured that I have put in as much effort as I can in finding a job. But a gentle reminder that it's really not easy getting a job, espcially at the end of the year where everyone is waiting for their big fat bonuses. Besides, sending in 100 resumes do not guarantee 100% interviews. If you wanna tell me it's silly of me to leave my previous job, save your breath. I just got out of a temporary depression 2 weeks ago and honestly, I don't wish to get into that dark pit again. In the meantime, I will build up my confidence to get myself ready for the challenges of tomorrow.

At least, I already went for 3 interviews and things are starting to move, albeit the tortise tempo, at least better than nothing.

Lastly if you (friend #2 or anyone else) are offended, I am sorry but I speak my mind. If you know me well enough, this is nothing personal. 对事不对人.

The Second Day Of The Festive December

Today marks a very special day in my life. To some of you, it could be just another day. Or perhaps for those who are already in the festive mood, it may mean that christmas is drawing near. Tight schedules filled to the brim with some last minute shopping, looking forward to that long-awaited and oh-so-expensive-super-duper-peak-season-holidayings...blah blah blah.

In fact, I knew something fishy was going on. It was unusual of him to carry a big bag especially when we had lots to accomplish for the day. In the morning, with our heavy eyelids threatening to close anytime on us, we managed to send James off (read my previous post). Then (due to some personal reason), I had to rush back home. It ended up with the two of us taking a short nap (the bed was too tempting to resist...we were just too tired after a night of clubbing and squabbling into the wee hours). Curiousity kills the cat. Took much restraint on my part not to ask him about the big bag (read: prominent), I just can't bear to kill the excitement and surprise (I guessed) he had been planning.

Sumptuous dinner: we had pepper crabs (crabba-licious) @ the famous Joo Chiat stall.

It was getting dark after a short stroll along the beach. He told me he brought some sparklers and asked if I wanted to play with them. We arranged them accordingly in the dark (I could hardly see my own hand). Then he took out the lighters and we were supposed to light them up. But I freaked out the moment I ignite 1 sparkler (the sparklers were placed too closely together) and left him to the rest of the job. Sparklers he bought were vertically-challenged, and within seconds, part of the sparklers got ignited and burnt out, leaving the rest, out in the cold.

It was a failure. We couldn't get all the sparklers ignited at the same time. Learnt one good lesson, we'll definitely fare better next time. But I could still make out what he was trying to shape. Then...he turned his back on me and took out something from his pocket. Something small but shiny in the dark. He knelt down and proposed to me. I did anticipated that, but I was truly touched by his effort. Neverthless, of course I said YES!!

He got me something else. 2 clay figures that supposed to look like us...but honestly, we both agreed that there weren't any resemblance but yet, it'll be something for us to look back on many years down the road. Flowers withered, fanciful words fade, but these will serve as memories for us both.



On this very same day exactly one year later, it will mark a very special and significant chapter of our lives. We will bid adieu to our singlehood and embrace our new status and life with much enthusiasm and love, for as long we both shall live.

Embarking On A New Journey

The days quicken their steps just when you are having fun. It crept away with the time. Before long, you realised it's long gone, the fun you had, those sweet memories...it can now only be stored in your membrane for as long as your brain holds it.

It seemed like yesterday when we chatted about you going over to US..whether is it a good choice, the right time and stuff like that. Guess what? You are leaving this Fri...for at least 2 good years. Truly, I am gonna miss our chit chatting sessions
over at our old haunt with the rest of the gang.

Well, it's good to breathe the air from somewhere else for a change because it gets rather stifling at times *cough* on our little sunny island. Might not be any fresher but definitely cooler at this time of the year.

Bon voyage!! Have a merry white christmas!!

Tuscany, Italy

Before I am about to be sentenced to death by boredom, me got off my butt to the nearest DVD rental shop to kill my time away. On an impulse, I rented 3 DVD @ the cost of 14 bucks. Talking about saving $$ since I am feasting on air for the past 1 month and gawd knows how much longer do I need to live on that. Albeit all my lamenting, it was well money spent, at least for "Under The Tuscan Sun".

For a starter, I am straight. Now I can safely confess my adoration for Diane Lane, who looks so ever gorgeous. Starting to think if I will fare better than her when my time comes. Day-dreaming. Apart from gawking at the handsome Italiano guy romancing her, the other that warranted my attention mostly..and i almost jaw dropped at, were the landscapes, seaviews, mountains, field of sunflowers, the piazza, the colourful myriad of people et cetera. Totally awed. Am loss for words.

Something from the movie...
Fefe's always says, "No matter where you are, never lose the innocence of a child, nor the enthusiasm..."

Now I have got another place to visit when I am due to be in Europe. Yes, benvenuti to Tuscany!! TUSCANY
Hmm...my next movie is about penguins. Do I smell Antartica?

Stringing Them Together...

bored.pressure.confused.lowmorale.mixed.nonsensical.insecure.tired.
poor.discontinuity.adversities.helpless.fatigue.crazy.noisy.
battlefield.hope.motivation.happy.weak.bleak.lonely.excited.relieved.
assured.penniless.assorted.myraid.sanity.provoked.disastrous.candid.
cuddly.freedom.monotonous.endurance.mindless.amicable.random.peace.

Ahhhh...what a string of feelings/thoughts/or what-not....

Tired

Finally it's midweek, very taxing indeed. I am both physically/ mentally/ emotionally spent these days, totally depleted of any energy. Albeit the stress, i must admit, twas a rather fulfilling and rewarding week. I can be qualified as a professional WP. Paradoxically, I do enjoyed the whole process, though at the back of my mind, I wished things were a lil' more easier. Hmm...but then it won't be that memorable if everything could just be settled with a blink of an eye (too chicken feed is no challenge) for moi.

Sway...

On my Altec Lansing now: Sway by Michael Buble

Everytime I listen to this song, I feel my whole body, quite uncontrollably, swaying along with it. Loosen up my shoulders, set my feet to dancing, my mood to relaxation. There is a tinge of sexiness and attractive allure in his voice. Oooohhhhhhlala.....

Likewise, my mood is also swaying...to and fro, ups and downs. My JH has not been very promising, vexation ensues with the added pressure on getting the best deals out of WBH and in creating the most memorable WTB. I hate myself for being such a perfectionist at times, but on a second note, who doesn't want the best for themselves?

"Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore, hold me close. Sway me more.
Like a flower bending in the breeze, bend with me, sway with me."

Keys To My Heart

Do not take this seriously....hahaha, I ain't even sure if these keys really lead to my own heart. LOL =]

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

My Personality

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

What Type Of Blogger Am I??

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger. You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause. You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you! A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Brain Dead

Spent the whole of last week, yes, inclusive of weekends, on searching for the ideal BS. Very time and brain consuming. Squeezed all my brain juice just to get the best bargain and offers. Finally settled for SWC. Well, at least one load off my mind. I can concentrate on other stuff like WP and JS. Arrgghhh...

My whole Monday morning spent on WP and consolidatiing all information, nicely done up in excel format for easy reference.

Declared @ 1638: I am brain dead.

Unsound Mind

Unsound - Suffering from severe mental illness; mentally ill or unstable

Mind - The intellectual or rational faculty in man; the understanding; the intellect; the power that conceives, judges or reasons; also, the entire spiritual nature; the soul; - often in distinction from the body

*Citations from Webster Online Dictionary*

My encounter with a mentally unsound being, greatly disturbs me. The aftermath, left me disconcerted. Unkempt, bespectacled, and adorned with a backpack. To add on my misforture, to have bump into him TWICE. First, on a wet day. Second, on a monday morning (read: double the dosage of blues). Definitely not a very pleasant way to start my day.

If looks can kill, I'll probably be dead by now. His stare, cold and empty. Transfixed unwavering onto you, watching your every movement and actions. My nightmare was not over or so I thought when my bus came. Apparently not wanting the chance for him to be seated by my side, I moved myself to occupy the outer seat. Itchiness caused me to clear my throat with a cough. THEN....just like he did the first time (to imitate my actions), initiating a cough, splattering his saliva all over my arm and part of my face. Itchiness ensued which caused my arm in redness due to wiping and scratching violently to remove any traces of his unpleasant discharge. What's more abhorrent is that he seem pretty gratified in his own actions.

It's shuddering, slightly traumatised and queasy for me throughout the bus ride which seemed to be exceedingly long for such a short distance.

Since I am not due to return for work (read: I quitted) unless I am really down on my luck, allayed any fears of meeting this loathsome weirdo anymore. Indeed, nothing can be more unpleasing than this. Need some TLC at this moment, to tranquilize the mind. Not paranoid, but I think I need to go cleanse myself again.

Sentiments

Albeit the felicitation
Lies unwarranted anxiety
Life is full of uncertainties
Of those beyond comprehensible

Composure to absolute countenance
Of these I am unable to retain
Perplexity ensued
Splintering every bit of assurance

Totally depleted
Of every sense and energy
Am bushed by pessimism
When will it cease to oppress?

被风吹过的夏天

还记得昨天那个夏天
微风吹过的一瞬间
似乎吹翻一切
只剩寂寞更沉淀

如今风依旧在吹
秋天的雨跟随心中的热却不退
仿佛即使闭着双眼
熟悉的脸又会浮现在眼前

蓝色的思念
突然演变成了阳光的夏天
空气中的温暖
不会更遥远
冬天已仿佛不在留恋

绿色的思念
回首对我说一声四季不变
不过一季的时间
又再回到从前
那个被风吹过的夏天

还记得昨天那个夏天
微风吹过的一瞬间
似乎吹翻一切
只剩寂寞更沉淀

风依旧在吹
秋天的雨跟随心中的热却不退
仿佛继续闭着双眼
熟悉的脸又浮现在眼前

蓝色的思念
突然演变成了阳光的夏天
空气中的温暖
不会更遥远
冬天已仿佛不在留恋
绿色的思念
回首对我说一声四季不变
不过一季的时间
又再回到从前
那个被风吹过的夏天

蓝色的思念
突然演变成了阳光的夏天
空气中的温暖
不会更遥远
冬天已仿佛不在留恋
绿色的思念
回首对我说一声四季不变
不过一季的时间
又再回到从前
那个被风吹过的夏天

那一风吹过的夏天

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A Day To Remember

29th September 2005, a day to remember. My status reduced to half a derelict (@ least I got a home). Despite, it'll be an occasion to celebrate. For my days of sufferings (in silence) shall see daylight and no longer will I be under his unwarranted and unfavourable demeanour. Derogatory remarks deemed unnecessary (but I just can't help it), closure is greatly favoured. Palsy-walsy will eventually re-surfaced as hyprocritical. Stop gawking lest you'll be sued for sexual harrassment, for it's an outrage of modesty to pass such remarks. Do respect your co-workers the same way respect is due to you. Enough is enough. Ditto.

Though the road that lies ahead will be a long and winding path (what a pessimist), lined with challenges, but I believe, is to mould me into a stronger person (now what, an optimist??).

On hindsight, a revelation revealed. Days get better, future shines brighter.

4 more days to go and counting...

Should I Or Should I Not?

Recently, I posed a question to a friend of mine (obviously) and his conjecture? "It is better to have tried and failed, then not to have tried at all". Hmm..thought provoking and mind boggling. Then again, implored a few other couple of friends for "enlightenment". A handful of opinions. Some for it, others against it.

Decision? Why not? It doesn't hurt to give it a try. Let's just wait and see what happens in the next few days. Keep you updated...stay tuned.

Mystified Night

The solitude and melancholy of the night never failed to inspire me to spill my thoughts onto the web. It is through the darkest and quietest hours that slowed my being to a standstill, allowing recollection to take place.

What's been pondering over my mind, lingering on my soul? In life, there are many lessons yet to be learnt. I am still learning...

The Days of September

You can never envisage how enduringly aching are the days of September. The feelings of exasperation, resentment, vexation and provocation are intertwined to such an extent of aggravation that it had become almost inconsolable.

The days are exceedingly torturous, of excruciating pain, undesirable mental distress and ghastly agony. Detrimental to health and a sound mind. Increasingly disturbing, I need to strengthen my mental constitution. Somehow, some way (in the midst of a resolution).

However, despite the adversity....I am bestowed with a lucid innate understanding of the human heart. It can be shockingly narrow-minded, abhorrent and detestable. Appendages crossed for its existence only as remnants pests of our society.

His utterly obnoxious behaviour greatly intensifies his vindictive self as opposed to his self-assured and widely self-acclaimed philantrophy personality. Beware, a cunning wolf hiding in sheep's clothing. Highly deceptive, purely hallucination.

As he regards himself as an indispensable member, he haughtily assumed (that's making an ASS out of U and ME) he had the jurisdiction to rule, to command and to conquer the human hearts with his treacherous actions and words. Yet, due to defective refraction of the eyes, deficiency in the sense of hearing, taciturn and intellectually-challenged (read:blind, deaf, mute and dumb), the fellow "worshippers" credulously yielding themselves to his preposterous dictation, gratifying in absolute self-deceit. Or should I say, the birds of the same feather flock together?

It proved to be an arduous journey for me. Providence shall see me through with endurance and perseverance. And finally, to emerge tenaciously, not bowing nor submitting to a tyrant. I prayed fervently for GOD's enlightment, and to sanctify my heart that I may find peace and serenity in His presence.

G.O.D.I.V.A

Had a little surprise from a good friend today...totally overwhelmed by her sweet gesture and innermost thoughts. It does chase away the blues that Monday brings.

Went to the ladies and upon returning to my cubicle, saw a paper bag on my chair. I was wondering who put it there till i saw a little tiny stick-on notepad, with a little message. I open the paper bag...inside it was a box and a card. To my amazement, it was a box of GODIVA chocolates. I remembered visiting GODIVA with her on one of the Friday, I was commenting on being a "sua gu" (read:mountain tortise) if I never had the chance to taste it. She persuaded me not to buy and reminded me that I was on a diet and exercise regime. Heeded her advice, unknowingly about the plans she had in mind.

I was thrilled to receive the delectable chocolate (OMG!!! Truffles, my favourites), but what touched me most were the contents written on the card. Those are words from the bottom of her heart.

Here's something from the bottom of my heart too....

Gal, thanks for your time all these while. Your presence has make my life in A**** so much more bearable. With you around, I had a reason to come to work without the feeling a tinge of drag-ness (coined by moi). Time passes so quickly that I had to say adieu to you...but this will not be a permanent departure for I believe in days to come, we will still keep in touch. No doubt, the days we shared together, shopping, chatting, bitching, laughing, snacking etc will be missed by me. But it'll always be remembered in my heart.

Without work on hand ever since I tendered my resignation, I am just dwadling my time away. It can be so slow and tortuous but yet I looked forward everyday to spend lunchtime together with you. This is the least I can do for you as I was unable to keep my promise to stay at least a year. But you have been very understanding towards me and my circumstances. Thank you for your kindess all these while.

You have just been added to my list of "guardian angels". GOD is indeed wonderful...because during my life journey, HE never failed to send me an angel along the way.

Finally, thanks for the card and the GODIVA choco-bits...ni yong xin liang ku!!!

Rainy Friday

I love the scent of the cool air after a heavy downpour, feel the crisp wind rustling through my hair, embracing this refreshing moment. It seemed to wash away whatever troubles that are lingering on my mind. Cleansed away the old me, renewing me once again...

Romantic Compatibility? Capricorn vs Capricorn

When two Capricorns join together in a love match, they create and contribute to a whole new, exciting element in one another's lives. The symbol of Capricorn is the Sea Goat, the animal always on an upward climb from the sea to the mountain summit. This is true of the Capricorn couple who magnifies their energy and strength and climb the staircase to a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship. But, all of this ambition and lust for life is bound to make these Goats lock horns, and a dispute between two tempers like these is not to be taken lightly.

When it comes to running a household or maintaining a healthy relationship, this couple can really take care of business. So much so, that they will have to be conscious of finding setting aside time for recreation and fight off the hardworking attitude that comes with the Capricorn lifestyle. Loyal and charitable, this couple is loving and devoted without being overbearing, which is a desirable mixture for each partner.

Capricorn is ruled by the Planet Saturn. Saturn's main focus is on achieving goals through hard work. This planet also focuses on Capricorn's authoritative side and desire for social status. This couple is very career-minded. Their focus and intense energy can cause them to seem harsh or inflexible, but a Capricorn partner is not taken aback by such an attitude. Each communicates well and enjoys getting things accomplished together. This couple has a great capacity for love, but is not always as emotionally intertwined as other couples of the Zodiac. Both enjoy confronting a difficult issue, but also relish the space to pursue individual interests.

Capricorn is an Earth Sign. Interests lie in the material goods that indicate lofty social status. Capricorns are willing to work hard to make their house a home, and they aren't afraid to show off the fruits of their labor. Mundane activities and responsibilities are a staple of Capricorn's daily schedule, so it's important for these two to do something fun or silly every once in a while. At times, the Capricorn-Capricorn relationship could use a bit of lightening up!

Capricorn is a Cardinal Sign. This couple delights in initiating new activities and following them through. Always conservative, this couple spends their time and their money in practical applications and looks for the tangible results. The unyielding qualities of the Sea Goat workhorse make this duo a knockout couple as well as intimate friends.

What's the best aspect of the Capricorn-Capricorn relationship? It's their dedication to taking care of their personal and shared responsibilities. Theirs is a strong relationship, and the sturdy construction is built to last. As long as each partner remembers to laugh every once in a while, this will be a successful relationship.

Analysis provided by Astrology

Ice-cream, anyone?

Was having dinner and a chit-chat with my mum in her room (yes, i am allowed to sit on my mum's bed and enjoyed my food..let's not digress). Now, where did i stop?? Oh yes...there came this knock on the door. Me and my mum were contemplating who should answered to it when i gave her the look that my butt super-glued to her cosy bed.

She, as good-natured as a mum she is, she went to the door. As a good-natured daughter as I am, I followed behind. The door opened, and what presented to us was this teenage boy, who started rattling off some speech @ an enormous speed. Probably 95 wpm on a typewriter.

When the speech was over, we stared @ each other with wide open eyes. He, confused @ our expressions and we, overwhelmed by his ability to finish everything in just one long breath. Now what's impressive is not the speed but the story behind.

This not-so-over-puberty looking teenage explained his situation, again but in @ a slower pace. He was from Yish** Basketball Team. There will be a upcoming tournament and they badly needed money to sign up. So he and his friends (so there's a wolfpack) went to work for this ice-cream distributor. They got the ice-cream @ $9 but selling @ $14. From there, they'll earn the difference to pay for the sign up fees. He then showed us the ice-cream and coerced us to buy some from him. My mum was sympathetic but not me. I told her, no, we are not going to buy his story nor his ice-cream. I mean, i find the whole damn story totally absurd.

There are a few tell-tales signs that this is all a hoax.

1) If they really belong to a basketball team (in this case, seems like a town or constituency team), they should have sponsors.

2) They have no proof that they are members of the so-called basketball team.

3) If they don't have $, how are they able to get the ice-cream from the distributor? Why would any businessman, let these youngsters be on credit, get the ice-cream first and pay later?

4) They claimed that they are working for the ice-cream distributor. If you are working, you'll be paid. But it seems that they are earning by hacking up the prices which is to me purely EXTORTION.

5) Maybe there wasn't any tournament at all, it's just a gimmick to sell those ice-cream.

I would not advise to market the ice-cream in the way they did. Somehow or rather, if you just let our potential consumers know that this is a new brand of ice-cream and if they would like to buy some to try, sales might be better. Because at least you won't get the door slammed in the face, not doing anything against your conscience and definitely not illegal soliciting.

Whatever is the reason behind all these ,there must be a more proper way. Teaching these youngsters to lie, gain sympathy and what-not, surely is not very effective and moral way to bring up our future generation.

What Am I To You?

Would you ever hurt the one whom you loved most and held dearest to your heart?
Would you ever always stay true and faithful?
Whether in sickness or in pink of health?
In happiness or in times of trouble?

To be continued...

My Buddies

I have a bunch of buddies whom have known each other for a straight record of 13 years. It dated back to secondary school days when we were all struggling through our teenage years and puberty stage. Indeed, we shared alot of memories, ups and downs and somehow, managed to stay in touch even after so many many donkey years. Effort made by each and everyone is worth commendable. I like the fact that we will meet up often, though not always as one big group for catch-ups, dinners or even movies. The most worth mentioning will be our birthday gatherings.

The last gathering we had was last sunday. Supposed to go JB but things cropped up and met up for dinner instead. Had thai food @ Waan Waan @ the new revamp Marina Square. Food was mediocre but ambience not too bad. After that, we decided to head for some coffee to discuss about the upcoming wedding of Eileen & Paul. Supposed to help them with everything, from logistics, reception on the actual wedding day. Got so much to discuss and decide upon. The very first thing is where to rest our feet and put on our thinking cap. Since we are all living along the NEL, we proposed (and agreed) to settle somewhere near our neighbouhood. That's when all arguments arises. Funny in fact...like school children, talking loudly, giggling, laughing, arguing all the way in the MRT. We made such a din and fool of ourselves. But we were really oblivious to the surroundings and people because we just kept on getting louder and louder and it gets rather deafening.

So, finally we decided each to show a number (using our fingers) and if after counting, whomever it ends up with, we will go there. All my friends are cheaterbugs!! I won the bet but when it reached my station, none of them budged. ARRrrrggghhhh...so much about the bet! In the end, we ended up in so called the more "central" Kovan (Ber the happiest...within walking distance to his residence) BK.

For the rest of the night, we just sat down to discuss the wedding preparations etc. There seemed so much to do. The couple are now looking for good photographers/ videographers. If you happen to know of any, do drop me a line. If got contacts, even better. Thanks in advance.

What I want to emphasize is that, it's such rarity to be able to keep in touch and yet be so in touch (pun unintended) with each other's lives after so many years (some of the other cliques in my class had long lost contacts). This friendship is so gem-precious to me. We could almost joke, poke, laugh at one another without the other feeling estranged. The closeness we shared is beyond words can describe. I thank GOD for them, and hopefully we can still be that playful years down the road.

What Is The World Becoming To?

Once a highly regarded profession (still is) but now the ethics are questionable. What are the ultimate purposes of becoming a doctor? Passion in pursuing breakthrough in the medical/ science realm? For fame, status and wealth? Whatever it is, the patient's life is at stake and as a doctor, you should give your best in treating the patient no matter how poor/ wealthy he/she may be. Unfortunately, not many that we know of think that way and has a passion for curing the sick irregardless of race, age, status. Ridiculous and absurd remarks makes me wonder and worried for the less affordable. Aren't they human as well? Shouldn't they be given as much chance to live, to go for the same medical treatment in order to rectify whatever problem they had and then be able to embrace the beauty of life once more?

Does staying in specific classes of wards determine whether a specialist doctor should operate on a patient anot? You are the doctor, your job is to exercise your expertise and save lives. But it seems to me that things are not that simple nor noble anymore. As nurses and care-givers, you should make the patient as comfortable as possible and yet I do not see any professionalism at all. Totally disgusted and disappointed. Guilty do you not feel, conscience do you not have?

No wonder it was said that for the poor, they rather die than to be struck down by an illness...they will suffer not only mentally, emotionally but also financially.

May God bless my aunt who will be going for an operation tomorrow. May the Lord be there for her, give her strength and courage, and to keep her safe in His Hands. HE is the Healer of all. Speedy recovery, aunt. Take care.

Paper Clouds

Kevin Kern, a contemporary pianist, caught my attention with his well-known "Sundial Dreams" from the album, "The Enchanted Garden". It never failed to have a soothing effect on me. But today, I am going to introduce to you another masterpiece of his..."Paper Clouds". I like the name...sounds whimsical. On your speakers...and tell me how you feel about this song.

Serenity, peace, vast greenlands, freedom, crisp wind, light breeze, long and untrimmed grasses, a little hut and of course the most important ingredient...the clouds.

Picture this....on the hilltop, lies a little red hut...that stands out prominently. I imagine myself, lying freely on the vast greenlands, that outstretched endlessly. Looking up into the skies, admiring the roaming, fluffy clouds...so soft and free while the light, crisp wind ruffled through my hair. Embracing the breeze, enjoying the sights, totally immersed in mother nature. Can you feel it too? Lovely...isn't it?

Photoblog - Dive Trip To Pulau Aur On 01/07/05 - 03/07/05

Gathered for a group photo at the deck after our 4th dive.


Getting all geared up for our last dive also known as the Graduation Dive. A tradition held by Rafi's students over the years. That is to do skin diving....dive without the wet suit. The water is cold....


Last but not least, our last shot prior departure onboard ferry to Mersing Jetty. Twas an unforgettable and exhilarating experience.

Photos courtesy of Jiapei, Brian and moi.

OWC

Documentaries was never the reason for me to be a couch potato for the day until my sista subscribed SCV. I usually just flipped through the channels and settled for the one that caught my attention. Nowadays, occasionally, I will switched to the NGC or Discovery Channel. You'll be amazed at the enormous amount of information you can dig about the nature around us. How spectacular and amazingly life can be, the evolving world, life cycle and many many more. Particularly, I loved watching about sea creatures under the water. Always admired divers who can get so close up and personal with them. Somehow or rather, I wished I was the one...out in the sea, swimming openly together with the creatures. Hence, I decided to take up diving.

Organising was never an easy task. It proved to be an even more tedious trying to set a date that can accomodate everyone. To cut the story short, we managed to settled for a date and went ahead to sign up. We ended up with Waikiki Dive Center, a recommendation by a good friend of mine.

OWC (Open Water Certified) is the very first step to explore the deep waters. A total of 2 lecture, 2 pool sessions and 4 open water dives are required in order to be certified as an OWC diver. Schedules were rather packed as we got to complete the necessary classes and an written exam before going on our dive trip over the weekends. I thought I couldn't make it...a little episode happened during the second pool session.

Phobia....hydrophobia to be exact. Symptoms...panicking and out of breath easily when entering the deep water. I can't control and kept bobbing out of the water (in the pool). I felt as if the air in my lungs are totally drained out and I need to get some fresh air. Trembling all over...partly because of the cold water and also to the anxiety. Finally, I gave up. Totally freak out. Disappointed and angry at myself for being such a loser. How come everyone can do it except me? I was the organiser and yet I couldn't make it. So can you imagine double dosage on the disappointment?

I bet some of my friends were shocked to see me in tears. Overwhelmed by my emotions, tried but just can't seem to control them. Sorry guys, I didn't mean it but some external factor just made it worse. Anyway, I still went ahead to the weekend dive. Another dive instructor was engaged to coach me personally, to clear my pool skills in the open but shallow water. Thank GOD for Rafi, his passion, dedication and patience helped me overcome my phobia. I managed to clear all my pool skills.

Having said that, I joined my friends for all the other 4 dives (5 in total, another leisure dive was roped in). I really enjoyed myself...saw loads of sea creatures. Wrasse, sergeant major, big blue starfish, cushion starfish, turtle, nudibranch, squid and lots of fishes. My favourite is the clown fish (nemo). So mischevious and adorable.

I want to thank those people who took their time off to listen, console and encourage me not to give up. Because if I had, I won't be here, with this entry on my dive trip. I love diving, I love swimming around and with the sea creatures. There are so many things to see, explore and most importantly, I conquered the fear of deep water. Thanks to Ailing & Kelvin for helping so much in making this dive trip possible. To Rafi, for his patience and guidance. To Ailing and Qi, for the constant encouragement and assurance. To all my friends who went along with me for enjoying themselves and making this dive trip a wonderful and memorable one.

Diving is NOT A SPORT but an expensive LIFESTYLE. Yes, I am now an open water certified diver. Am comtemplating on going for the advanced diver course.


Took this picture on our boat ride back to Mersing Jetty. Time was around 4 plus...look at the sun rays reflecting off the surface of the sea. Don't you just adore nature? Totally mesmerized.

Be Yourself

Am I too opinionated? At times, I wonder why I let myself be bothered by all these worldly issues that makes serves no significant purpose in improving my self-worth. But because I care, being blissfully happy is what I hope you to be. Often than not, I found out that it is actually beyond my ability. Happiness is not something that someone can give you, you'll have to create them, be part of the process. Then you find that someone to share this utmost and intense joy with you.

Sadly, your feelings, thinkings are manipulated by him and him alone. This is because you let him to. You let him control your actions, your decisions, your everything which at times makes you unhappy but you still abide to it. Why is that so is something I cannot comprehend. I always believed that we have to stand up to ourselves, be responsible for our decisons and its consequences. Our decisions may not be always right but at least we tried to stand on our own feet. Learn from the failures or enjoy the success. Human is to err, my dear friend.

Many times I was angry with you because my advice fell on deaf ears. I was disappointed when the reason for your rejection is because he said no and not truly from your heart. Repeatedly, you come to me with the same set of problems. My solution is always the same. BE YOURSELF. Answer to yourself. Make decisions yourself. Do things for yourself. Be independent. Learn to love yourself.

Bear in mind. Good friends are hard to come by. Do not expect to find friends only when you are down and out. To disappear when things are going great for you. This is also a relationship that you have to maintain that need efforts and your time. Having said that, this is also one of the problems you have which you don't realise it. When you have problems, you start to panic. When you are not on his priority list or he is out-stationed, you are overwhelmed by the loneliness. Frantically, you tried to dial every friend and get them out for a "gathering". To listen to your woes, to offer you advices, to keep you company. I have no qualms about doing that for you. To be there when you needed me. But it shouldn't be that way. Friends should be treated with respect and love.

If your world is confined only to you and him, it will be a shallow and uninteresting relationship you are going to have. Soon, you'll be left behind by your friends because you don't even bother to take time off to say hi. Many times, I felt like walking away. But I don't have the heart for I know you don't have that many friends. Not trying to be noble, but I hope one day, you'll understand that you are living for yourself and not for him.

Jay Chou

I like his ballads, the way he serenades them even though most of the time, it's pretty unclear and muffled. But the effect it never failed to have on me, is the past re-enacting vividly in my conscious being. This particular song is **An Jing**. (Turn on your speakers)

Although it is always said that there is no absolute right or wrong in a relationship gone wrong. At that instant, I hated him to the core. I cannot fully comprehend how can he betrayed my feelings, my trust and our relationship just like that. The empty promises were nothing but just lies. I can't accept and come to terms that he left me for another girl with the reason, that I was too good to him and he feel pressured. It was never to my understanding how, by loving a person drives him away. Prior to his departure, he said the love still exist but not as strong as before. Why did he still not telling the truth even at the very last minute? Sympathy was the last thing I needed. By saying all that just doesn't make me feel any better. Perhaps, it made him less guilty. On the whole, I just felt cheated. To an extent, I even blamed myself for the outcome of the relationship and believed that it was just purely retribution.

The days after that were long and dreadful. I felt like the whole world crashed on me. In the midst of pursuing my part-time degree (read: stress, stress, and more stress), something else happened to me. It is despicabe to take advantage of another human being when she is at her most vulnerable point of her life. When things go wrong, it will go wrong all the way than you can ever imagine. Chaotic. Depressed. Low self-esteem. I cried myself silly. Was just so weak when it comes to the affairs of the heart. But...grateful of those friends who never gave up on me. Who lent me a hand, to pick me up, support and encourage me when I felt helpless. Who love me all the same without asking anyting in return.

After months of lows, I just woke up, realising that it's torturous if I don't let go. Punishing myself in this way, grieving for a lost loved is just not worth it. I have no regrets loving him at all because I put my 100% into it. The feelings were just not reciprocated the way I hope it to be. It left a deep scar in me.

I can still remember him saying this to me..."a relationship is just like flying kite. You have to learn to hold it tight and yet at the same time let it loose. If you hold it too tightly in your hand, the string will break eventually. If you let loose, the kite will fly far far away from you and never return. Learn to handle the relationship in the same way".

If you are not committed to a relationship, I beesch you to be truthful to yourself and kindess to the other party. For you'll never know how hurting it can be and the scars it will leave behind...permanently.

Though I am now in a happy relationship but I do still have misgivings about a long-term committment...marriage.

Oh, Wandering Soul

You, oh wandering soul
So near yet so far
Once you were by my side
Now you took your flight

Inside my heart I knew
You, oh wandering soul
Even with my arms outstretched
I can never keep by my side

Where art thou?
Wander not away from me
You, oh wandering soul
Jaded, futile, lifeless without you

Lest I fall deeper within
Letting go is the least that I could
Having you was never meant to be
You, oh wandering soul

Regrets

My greatest regret in life is letting you go
And not able to hold you back
Now that you are gone
And in someone else's arms
I can't hold back the tears
Streaming down like a river
Once was mine to embrace
But now is gone forever
Do you know the pain inside
The hurt that hides behind
No words can ever describes
The pain will never subsides

Mindless Ramblings

The hot and humid weather is driving me crazy, the main sole reason why I am still up and about when I should be dreaming of myself riding alongside with my prince-charming at some enchanted 1930s chateau in the beautiful yet undiscovered land of the French countryside. Yes, it (the hot weather) is also responsible for this gibberish talk. I need to get some rest.

Real Or Reel?

I have this weird thought about myself. What if one day, I woke up to find out that I am actually not the person whom I am supposed to be but rather I am just someone whom others perceived me to be, one that will fit into the niche of the society. Or in other words, is there a hidden side of me? Another dimension of my being that nobody knows, that me, myself dare not venture into. A dark side, perhaps. Ugly insights of my thoughts and doings that are beyond apprehension. The consequences are irreversible. A series of myriad unknowns. Real or reel? Which is me?

These thoughts spiralled into a spiel of more uncertainties, my real identity and undoubtedly, the purpose of my existence on this part of the Earth. Am I about to embark on a spiritual odyssey of self-discovery?

Mastermind

Your answers suggest you are a Mastermind

The four aspects that make up this personality type are:


**Summary of Masterminds**
Visionaries who put energy into achieving their goals
Prefer to work independently and dislike inefficiency
Think of themselves as logical, thorough, and bright
Values practicality and common sense above ideas and theories

**More about Masterminds**
Masterminds create a vision for the future by gathering and organising information. They then develop strategies to achieve their goals. They have a rare gift for looking at almost anything and seeing how it can be improved. These skills and the Masterminds' high standards often allow them to reach leadership positions at work.


Mastermind is the least common personality type in the UK, according to a nationwide survey. Masterminds value independence and prefer to work on their own. Once they have decided on a course of action, Masterminds rarely change their minds, although they can be persuaded by clear reasoning by someone they respect.

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Masterminds may cut themselves off from a group and criticize people who don't understand their plans. Under extreme stress, Masterminds may overindulge in sensory experiences like eating, shopping or watching television.

Masterminds often have an unusual sense of humour, which arises from their ability to spot surprising links between seemingly unconnected facts.

**Mastermind Careers**
Masterminds are drawn to jobs requiring logical analysis or abstract thinking common in science or technical fields.

It's important to remember that no survey can predict personality type with 100 percent accuracy. Experts say that we should use personality type to better understand ourselves and others, but shouldn't feel restricted by our results.

Take the quiz...
Personality Quiz - Courtesy of BBC

Storm @ Pulau Redang

An angry storm brewing in the background, turning the clear blue sky into clouds of grey...

Sunrise @ Pulau Redang

Amazingly serenity...

Almost Here

Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause your only almost here

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause I know I'm almost here

Only almost here

Almost Here - Delta Goodrem & Brian McFadden

How sad it is to think that you are only ALMOST HERE whenever I needed you...

Wicker Park

Warranted my attention the moment I saw him. Capt. Danny Walker in Pearl Harbour, SSgt. Matt EversmannHe in Black Hawk Down and again Matthew in Wicker Park. There seems to be something intriguing behind that pair of smoky, deep set eyes of his. Totally captivated. Absolutely swooned.

Wicker Park, a story about a young Chicago advertising executive, who believes a woman he sees in a cafe is his long-lost love. His conviction leads to obsession, as he puts his life on hold to trail her.

Initially, I thought it was just another die-hard-romantic kinda show. But I was wrong. It was a mixture of romance, a tinge of suspense and a dazzle of drama that kept you guessing all the way. Was totally blown away with my brain spinning uncontrollably but rather pleasurely I must say. Full of astonishing reverses and switchbacks. If you pieced the chain of events together, you realised how convicted and obsessed one can be. Sometimes, love just makes you loses the rationality to do things that are beyond your own perception and acceptance level.

Found out that Wicker' is a remake of the 1996 French film, `L' Appartement. Hmm, I would very much love to watch the French version. Anyone?

And oh, by the way, the cute guy here is Josh Hartnett.

Some Signs of Ageing

I am getting on my years, not kidding you, but I do feel age is catching up on me. Advancing into my late twenties (just over the mids as a matter-of-fact), things are happening fast around me. Changes everywhere, to all people and just about everything. In school days, we worried about tests, exams, BGR, not getting into preferred institutes. Now we worried about not getting the right job, constantly thinking of ways to earn more bucks and not finding the right partner to settle down and having baby blues. Bah!

21st birthday parties are long gone, welcoming me are invitations to weddings and baby full month celebrations. Along with the joy and memories it brings, it also burnt a big hole in my pocket and a substantial cut in my paycheck. Can you see the evolution of life going around me?! The pattern changes drastically. Oh my gosh, even my tastes and senses took a turn. I began to courageously attempt bold colours and weird designs when it comes to apparrel. I think twice about purchasing things that will make me look too kiddish. Once a close friend of mine commented that a sudden change (we used to just stick to basic black and white but now turning our wardrobe into a spectrum of rainbow colours) is an indication of ageing. We laughed it off, but this is really a fact.

Apart from the demeaning effects of being a twenties going on to thirties, I actually find myself wanting to embrace and enjoy life even more. Perhaps due to the increasing spending power, I, without hesitation (at times), splurge on things and mini getaways to pamper myself. In fact, I just came back from P.Redang, an resort island in Trengganu, far far away from the hustle-bustle of city life. Simplicity is something I adored. The less complicated, the better. At times, I still yearned for that little excitement to perk up my mundane lifestyle, to fulfill the childlike personality still lingering inside me.

Ironically, I am in my prime. Age is such an important factor for every woman, and every stage is a milestone worth mentioning donkey years down the road. Time waits for no man, there is still so much to do, to explore, to enjoy and to embrace. So, while I lament about my biological clock ticking away religiously, I already have in mind, a lists of personal goals to accomplish. The most immediate would be to get a scuba diving licence. Are you game for it??

What Is Happening?!?!

The morale in the office has been exceptionally low these days. In a span of 3 months, one whole group literally disappears. Everyone just left, one after another. Honestly, this is not what I had aniticipated of this company. Maybe I am being naive, I thought that a small organisation would be cosy. But to my dismay, this company, where 90% are young adults, seems like one totally helpless old folks home. No vibrancy, no cohesiveness and definitely no team-spirit. There seemed to be no common goal and to some extent, no common topic. I almost feel that we are all just happened to share this same tiny office. A lack of human touch and warmth. That's how I feel.

Not surprisingly, he has been targeted as the public number one enemy. On the surface, he seemed to be on good terms with everyone, friendly, open etc. But things are not so simple. Unintentionally and unknowningly (at times only), he actually offended quite a substantial number of people in the company. Due to his tactless and at times snide remarks, it really pisses people off. Been hearing lots of negative remarks about him, I tried to be as neutral as possible. Beyond own control at times, I indulged in their gossips as well for I am a victim of circumstances...what I meant was I too, was subjected to his unfeeling remarks.

Personally, we are friends though not close but I didn't want to see him ended up like this. He may be successful in his career (as he always self-praised), he just lacked the inter-personal relationship skills. Got to tone down his ego and be more sensitive to people's feelings. I don't know how to go about approaching such a sensitive subject to him especially when man's pride and ego is a big thing. I'll think I just pray for him, to have a bigger heart and smaller ego, more humble and less proud (pride). God bless him.

Phenomenon

As I lay myself down onto the bed, I savour the moment of peacefulness within me. But as I immersed deeper into the silence, something hit me. To my realization, I was actually standing beside the bed and watching myself lying on the bed. No, this is not a dream (definitely not a hoax), I swear (ops!! pardon me) that my eyes were wide open and I am 100% conscious and awake. The soul seems to ascend to the ceiling above, high and away from the shell that protects it and then decends by the bedside. It is quite a phenomenon and honestly, I can't really translate the feelings and the thousand of thoughts that rattled my brain like some electric currents simply into words. It just zapped you right from behind your brain with all its force and energy.

Am I in another dimension or is it "advanced" self-reflection as claimed by my colleague? I wouldn't know...but I am dying to find out.

Hi-Thank You-Sorry

It's been a while since I post any entry. Work has eaten up much of my time. I mean, my energy wanes to a tiny dot that I can barely lift my fingers to blog by the time i reached home. Just want to drop by to say hi-thank you-sorry to friends/ peeps out there who are so kind to visit my blog every now and then and be disappointed to find the same old entry and nothing refreshing. Things will get better, I promised.

Black Sheep

There is an old chinese saying, when directly translated means: one kind of grain breeds hundreds of diversified population. Unfortunately to my dismay, I encountered the black sheep. To cut the story short, it actually triggered an sms war...

What's imperative is not about the contents of the smses, but the impeccable standard of my replies. The gist of each sms is to make the recipient understand a very simple moral: It's only right to repay what you owe (in monetary terms for this case), which she seems to be lacking in that particular department.

Not forgetting to mention, she is very proficient in her "V" language as she hurl abuse at me continuously. I managed to keep my cool and continued to "remind" her about the payment which she conveniently dragged for years.

What amazed and disgusted me most is that she even dared to mention that there was no proof against her and that she can deny the loan. True enough, no IOU was written but I guess she wasn't that smart as well. All her previous smses admitted that she owed money and willingly to pay back in instalments.

Without a tinge of shame, she actually said I was "threatening" and in return, she "threatened" to go to the police. Now look who's threatening who.

Finally, the sms war reached an impasse. For it was totally meaningless to argue anymore with a person who's behaviour is totally imbecile. To end, I merely rely the message that I will continue to remind her gently about the payment every month due to forseen circumstances that she has selective memory and always in denial mode, till she cleared the debt. I rest my case.

Weak Stomach

Commenting about my stomach being weak is definitely an understatement. A tiny unhygiene will spark off a series of churning in my stomach. Endless diarrhoea and vomitting will ensued. My legs will start to get wobbly after the countless visit to the toilet and a painful ass. Unfortunately, it takes more than just charcoal pills. Often than not, I will end up having to visit the doctor and get a jab. Ouch! Hurts so much when the needle poke itself into my fleshy but supple buttock. It gets abit blue-black as well.

In fact, I just got recovered from a food poisioning just yesterday. It took me 1.5 days to get fully recovered. But the weird feeling still persists and I am abstaining from food that is coconut based. Though nasi lemak and laska are usually the top offenders, this time I was done in by chicken rice.

I wish I had a stronger stomach to devour more delicacies.

My 1st Week

Thank GOD that my first week of work ended in a breeze and without any major hiccups. Furthermore, I am now more adaptable to the new environment. Thank GOD also for the friendly colleagues. Though it's relatively rare for a newcomer to do overtime, yet I am gald for it. This means that I can actually start work immediately rather than just sit around and feeling out of place. Time would have been a drag if I were to just be sitting down and reading references.

But somehow, I still miss some of my ex-colleagues. In fact, I tend to make some comparisons here and there. Can't really blame me for I have been working for almost 5 years and I wouldn't have thought of leaving if not for the better prospects, opportunities and challenges that this new company offers me.

Nonethelessly, I kept telling myself to look forward and move on. The memories I shared with my ex-colleagues will always be in my heart. Really looked forward to the weekends...going to enjoy myself.

1st Day @ Work

Today is officially my first day of work after a 3-week long vacation. Feels kind of weird. Extremely tired. I think I need some time to adjust to working life and to adapt to the new working environment, new job scope and new people. Stress. This can be considered a totally new stuff to me which I have to learn from the scratch, which is perfectly alright to me. But somehow, I just feel stress. Stress about not doing a good job, about not meeting up to expectations (this was recommended by an ex-col who held a reputable position), about not being able to perform as what an engineer should be.

Though I was able to perform my duties with no supervision in my previous company, sub-consciously, you will still feel more at ease knowing that you still have an engineer to "fall" back on. But now, this is totally a different ball game. It's a matter of "CAN DO IT" or "CANNOT DO IT".

Am I giving myself too much and unnecessary pressure? I don't know.

For now, all I can do is to pray for GOD's guidance and wisdom. If you are willingly, do pray for me as well. Arigato.

Are You A SMALL Or BIG Person?

My last entry was about forgiving others and forgetting about those unhappy incidents. And guess what?? I went to church today and the pastor actually touched a little about this. Let me just share with you.

The gist of today's sermon: HOW TO BE BIGGER IN 2005
Now, you don't really take the word literally or rather it doesn't mean to grow in size (as you know I am always on diet...heehee). But how to be more broad-minded, be more magmanimous et cetera. So, you might start questioning yourself, then how do we become a BIGGER person? Well, here are 10 characteristics of a BIG person.

BIG person is always....

1) GENEROUS (Isaiah 32:8)
GOD always gives us the best and not the minimum so we should also be generous in our giving.

2) ACCEPTING of the differences (Romans 14)
Treat people with respect even though we may not agree or understand. We should not be so critical (and judgemental) instead be more objective

3) FORGIVE and FORGET easily (haha..that's the MAIN point)
1 Cor 13 says "...it (love) keeps no records of wrongs"
(Isaiah 43:25) When GOD forgives, HE forgets as well. Should why should we still bear grudges against others?
Disciples of CHRIST should not live by feelings but by obedience.

4) EMPOWER others to be successful

5) DON'T TRY to be big people
People who are big are those who serve others. We must learn to be humble instead of boastful.
(Mark 10:45) Even CHRIST come not to be served but to serve.

6) Treat LITTLE people well
Jesus look after the "insignificant" people (blind, sick, poor etc)

7) LISTEN (Proverbs 1:5)
All of us need spiritual leadership no matter how BIG we are. We should be susceptible to advices and counselling.

8) Honor LEADERSHIP, accept GUIDANCE (Hebrew 13:17)

9) Respect MANNERS and SPATIALITY (Luke 7:44-46 and 14:7-11)
Never overstep boundary and be over-familiar even though you may know that person very well.
v.11 says "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted"

10) BIG CAPACITY (1 Chronicles 26)

I need to pray about this. For I have come to realisation that I have always been so small. I want to be BIGGER, definitely. To learn to achieve all 10 characteristics of a BIG person especially in the department of FORGIVE and FORGET easily. Hope you have too learned something about yourself and you probably already made a resolution to transform from that SMALL and petty person to a BIG and magmanimous being. Keep praying!!

p/s: tomorrow is my first day of my new job. let's pray that it will be well!!

Forgive And Forget

Many times we heard people saying to forgive and forget. The former is easily accomplished but for the latter, it is often easier said than done. This is especially true when the consequences of a matter proved to incur a drastic effect which may change lives forever.

I am sure many of us encountered incidents/ misunderstandings whereby even though in our heart we may have forgiven that person who has hurt us, but over the years, it will somehow surface itself again. Subconsciously, it is still hidden somewhere, in the darkest corner. For we may have forgiven, we still have not forgotten. Does this means that we have not totally forgiven that person? For if we did, then why didn't our memory erased off that unhappy incident forever? Like a broken vase, it may be repaired but the cracks are still there. Clearly visble to the naked eye. But alas, our human brain is not a RAM, it doesn't get information erased off when we rest our mind to sleep akin to powering down a PC.

It is because we care about that person so much that we feel hurt and unhappy when bad things happened. If this person is not important to you, will you even bother to be angry with him for long? Imagine a stranger jumping queue in front of you. Yes, at that moment you'll be angry that you might even tell that person off. But you'll probably forgive and forget after a while. You might not even remember a single detail about that stranger. This is because that person is not of any importance to you. If we can easily forgive and forget a stranger who offended us in mere minutes, then why can't we be more magmanimous to our loved ones? Yet, the person that hurt us most is the person we loved most. Such irony. But life is just like that, isn't it? Full of ironies.

I Am A Visionary Soul, What About You?

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

3 Weeks Break: Day 1 & 2

I had tendered in my resignation a month ago and now have been enjoying the fruits of my labour. The long awaited break after working non-stop for almost 6 years. To reward myself, I am going to take a 3 weeks break before I embarked on my new career.

Peeps have been asking if I am going on a trip and they lament on how wasted of me not to take full opportunity of this chance to travel. Well, not that it never crossed my mind, I just couldn't afford it. Yes, despite having worked for quite a substantial period of years, I haven't got much savings left after investing all into my engineering degree. And yes, I admit, part of my salary contributes to my collection of bags and shoes (which every gal will agree with me that it is a necessity to stock up a few bags and a few pairs of shoes). Oh, c'mon, only gals can truly and fully understand the theory behind being a shoe-aholic and bag-aholic akin to guys go ga-ga over soccer.

That's beside the point. This is definitely the best time for me to catch up with some old friends.
To do things that I really like. Spend time to nuture my inner-self, to read books, quiet time with GOD and family et cetera. I am not going to pre-plan anything, but just let it go with the flow. To slowly savour the sweetness of this long, lazy break. Don't you just envy me?

A New Lease Of Life

23rd January 2005 is a very special day for me. It marks a new lease of life. On this very day, I re-dedicated my life to Jesus. Today's sermon was on singing and praising to GOD. And the 7 things we learnt from Psalm 84.

i) Progress
ii) Passion
iii) Purpose
iv) Preservation
v) Power
vi) Prosperity
vii) Protection

With much delight, we sang alot during the service which was marvellous because I enjoyed praising and worshipping to GOD with the congregration. Pastor Kong made a calling to the altar. For those who have backslided (he even gave an example for a duration of two years) and I reckoned it was me. Without a tinge of hestitation, I just walked towards the altar. (read: my churchmate was telling me that I walked so fast that she couldn't catch up with me). Anyway, the whole congregation sang and prayed with Pastor Kong leading us.

Uncontrollably, tears trickled down my cheeks. God really touches my heart this time. I just feel the strong urge to make that one step to let GOD knows that I want to come back to him. Even when Aka asked me why am I so emotional, I couldn't really put my feelings into words. Alot of unhappy things have happened to me during my pursue of my degree. Those two years were also some of my toughest and saddest milestone in my life. I just want to move on without these sad memories and only GOD can help me overcome this and heal me of the hurting wounds and scars and to fill these gaps with HIS love and understanding.

These are trials in my life and I believed that GOD never set a trial for us to fail but rather to make us stronger. With GOD in my life, I will prosper for His grace is abundant and blessings bountiful. He will make me a stronger character to go through everything in my life from now on. For He can turn mourning into dancing and everything into a spring of joy.

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilrimage.
As they passed through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs,
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before GOD in zion."

Psalm 84:5-7

A Test Of Faith

Ever since I visited CHC last week, I kept pondering if it is GOD's divination for me to make CHC my home church. In fact, months ago, I prayed (I admit not that religiously) but definitely with a sincere heart that GOD will find me a church that I will settled down. A place where I feel comfortable and able to grow spiritually of course.

Then....during the wee hours of Sun, I received an sms from my friend, Aka. He was the one who brought me to the church, and the only person I knew well enough. He told me he will not be going to the service as he has something on. Being a sleepyhead at that time, I just merely read the sms and went back to my dreams.

Morning came, I washed up and began to think. In the past, I will only attend service if my friend is going. This situation hit me again. Should I go or not go? Though I was in a dilemma initially yet a firm decision followed my uncertainty. During the last sermon by Pastor Kong, he mentioned about committed to church, committed to reading the Bible, committed to prayers and committed to GOD. It also dawned upon me that this is a personal relationship with GOD and I should not waver nor let my attendance be affected by someone else.

I went. And I am gald I did. For the service was awesome. Pastor asked the congregation to pray in tongues. For those who don't have this gift, Pastor said this is the time. We all layed our hands on our brothers and sisters, and everyone started speaking in tongue. You really can feel the presence of the Holy Spirit hovering around and among us. At a specific moment, my tongue seem to be out of control. I kept rolling my tongue and speaking in something that I don't understand and barely hear. No idea if I am really speaking in tongue but I do hope that in time to come, I will inherit this gift from the Holy Spirit and use it faithfully to praise and worship GOD.

CHC

I was elated when I received a sms from a friend that another mutual buddy accepted Christ as his Saviour. Ok, let me delve a lil' deeper about this friend of mine.

Affectionately known as Aka, he looks like just about any ah beng but totally different from those you'll find loitering in void decks, wolf-whistling at girls. With his unique hairstyle, he is quite hard to miss in school. But he is exceptionally shy, especially in front of the opposite sex. How he blush and shy away from a group of giggling girls. But I have got to give him credit for his excellent drawings and also his nimble steps to the tune of "Square Room". That's my buddy whom I got close with during our six-month industrial attachment stint with an electronics company.

Getting back to the topic, I was exuberant at the good news. Almost instantaneously, I sms him, welcoming him to the big family of Christ. And you know what, he invited to me his church. It never ever crossed my mind that he will come to know GOD, lest to extend the invitation for me to pay a visit to his church. Feeling ashamed that during my years as a Christian (still am) and us as classmates, never did I once share gospel nor get him to go to my church.

Nevertheless, I accepted the invitation. He even had his churchmates-cum-oikos group member to meet me at the pick-up location near my place. Bless Angela. She lives in Katong and took a taxi all the way to meet me. Was really thankful and grateful for this arrangement.
Angela, a very nice and friendly girl. We chatted during our journey to the church. We talked about everything under the sun, about Aka etc.

I was overwhelmed when I reached the destination, City Harvest Church. It was beautiful, as all other GOD creations. You see people (mostly youngsters) everywhere, in the foyer, bookstore, hallway waiting to enter into the main hall. But the moment came when I saw Aka. It has been years since we met up and I almost felt a tear trickling down my cheeks. Ok, I exaggerated a lil' but what I want to emphasize that he is my FIRST friend who came to know GOD, who is standing humbly before GOD, and now a brother-in-Christ. My happiness was beyond words can describe.

Truly was an eye-opener for me. The interior looks like a mini indoor stadium we had at Kallang. Lightings, several camera doing the filming, big screen for the lyrics. Akin to watching a concert, they even had their own live band and choir. After a short prayers, it exploded into a strings of praise and worship. Pastor Kong was the speaker for the day, sharing about having Jesus as a foundation of your life and dreams. I really enjoyed myself and had this strong desire to come back to GOD. I was highly motivated, inspired and touched that Aka has accepted Christ. It made me look back into my life. I yearned to be back, in the arms of the Lord.

Angela told me, even GOD did not forsake the prodigal son. I just need to make that one step, that is to be committed to church, committed to reading the bible and of course committed to GOD, himself.

What I want to say is, GOD works in the most miraculous ways and at the timing when you least expected it. GOD is great! Amen.

New Year, New Outlook

Happy New Year!! Extremely excited about 2005 and it has been a peaceful 1st week so far. There will be major changes...one of them is my blog! Yes, I have change to a new blog skin. I had the previous one for quite some time so I thought, I'll give it a fresher look to welcome the new year. So much for the blabbering, but that's all for now folks!! Look at the time, I need to catch some ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz *yawn*