Excerpt I

I am breaking at the seams. I feel terrible and miserable now, and I know he is as confused as I am, with my non-chalant attitude towards him. But I don't know how to react or put up a pretense. The last thing I ever wanted to do is to hurt him but yet it is hurting me so much inside me, like the soul screaming to get out of this lifeless shell, or like the lungs gasping for air. How am I capable of making my loved ones understand what I am going through, and that this isn't any easier for them as it is for me. The pain, the guilt, the explanation. I longed to break free, and somehow, the emotions and feelings got intensified to an almost uncontrollable degree.