Weak Stomach

Commenting about my stomach being weak is definitely an understatement. A tiny unhygiene will spark off a series of churning in my stomach. Endless diarrhoea and vomitting will ensued. My legs will start to get wobbly after the countless visit to the toilet and a painful ass. Unfortunately, it takes more than just charcoal pills. Often than not, I will end up having to visit the doctor and get a jab. Ouch! Hurts so much when the needle poke itself into my fleshy but supple buttock. It gets abit blue-black as well.

In fact, I just got recovered from a food poisioning just yesterday. It took me 1.5 days to get fully recovered. But the weird feeling still persists and I am abstaining from food that is coconut based. Though nasi lemak and laska are usually the top offenders, this time I was done in by chicken rice.

I wish I had a stronger stomach to devour more delicacies.

My 1st Week

Thank GOD that my first week of work ended in a breeze and without any major hiccups. Furthermore, I am now more adaptable to the new environment. Thank GOD also for the friendly colleagues. Though it's relatively rare for a newcomer to do overtime, yet I am gald for it. This means that I can actually start work immediately rather than just sit around and feeling out of place. Time would have been a drag if I were to just be sitting down and reading references.

But somehow, I still miss some of my ex-colleagues. In fact, I tend to make some comparisons here and there. Can't really blame me for I have been working for almost 5 years and I wouldn't have thought of leaving if not for the better prospects, opportunities and challenges that this new company offers me.

Nonethelessly, I kept telling myself to look forward and move on. The memories I shared with my ex-colleagues will always be in my heart. Really looked forward to the weekends...going to enjoy myself.

1st Day @ Work

Today is officially my first day of work after a 3-week long vacation. Feels kind of weird. Extremely tired. I think I need some time to adjust to working life and to adapt to the new working environment, new job scope and new people. Stress. This can be considered a totally new stuff to me which I have to learn from the scratch, which is perfectly alright to me. But somehow, I just feel stress. Stress about not doing a good job, about not meeting up to expectations (this was recommended by an ex-col who held a reputable position), about not being able to perform as what an engineer should be.

Though I was able to perform my duties with no supervision in my previous company, sub-consciously, you will still feel more at ease knowing that you still have an engineer to "fall" back on. But now, this is totally a different ball game. It's a matter of "CAN DO IT" or "CANNOT DO IT".

Am I giving myself too much and unnecessary pressure? I don't know.

For now, all I can do is to pray for GOD's guidance and wisdom. If you are willingly, do pray for me as well. Arigato.

Are You A SMALL Or BIG Person?

My last entry was about forgiving others and forgetting about those unhappy incidents. And guess what?? I went to church today and the pastor actually touched a little about this. Let me just share with you.

The gist of today's sermon: HOW TO BE BIGGER IN 2005
Now, you don't really take the word literally or rather it doesn't mean to grow in size (as you know I am always on diet...heehee). But how to be more broad-minded, be more magmanimous et cetera. So, you might start questioning yourself, then how do we become a BIGGER person? Well, here are 10 characteristics of a BIG person.

BIG person is always....

1) GENEROUS (Isaiah 32:8)
GOD always gives us the best and not the minimum so we should also be generous in our giving.

2) ACCEPTING of the differences (Romans 14)
Treat people with respect even though we may not agree or understand. We should not be so critical (and judgemental) instead be more objective

3) FORGIVE and FORGET easily (haha..that's the MAIN point)
1 Cor 13 says "...it (love) keeps no records of wrongs"
(Isaiah 43:25) When GOD forgives, HE forgets as well. Should why should we still bear grudges against others?
Disciples of CHRIST should not live by feelings but by obedience.

4) EMPOWER others to be successful

5) DON'T TRY to be big people
People who are big are those who serve others. We must learn to be humble instead of boastful.
(Mark 10:45) Even CHRIST come not to be served but to serve.

6) Treat LITTLE people well
Jesus look after the "insignificant" people (blind, sick, poor etc)

7) LISTEN (Proverbs 1:5)
All of us need spiritual leadership no matter how BIG we are. We should be susceptible to advices and counselling.

8) Honor LEADERSHIP, accept GUIDANCE (Hebrew 13:17)

9) Respect MANNERS and SPATIALITY (Luke 7:44-46 and 14:7-11)
Never overstep boundary and be over-familiar even though you may know that person very well.
v.11 says "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted"

10) BIG CAPACITY (1 Chronicles 26)

I need to pray about this. For I have come to realisation that I have always been so small. I want to be BIGGER, definitely. To learn to achieve all 10 characteristics of a BIG person especially in the department of FORGIVE and FORGET easily. Hope you have too learned something about yourself and you probably already made a resolution to transform from that SMALL and petty person to a BIG and magmanimous being. Keep praying!!

p/s: tomorrow is my first day of my new job. let's pray that it will be well!!

Forgive And Forget

Many times we heard people saying to forgive and forget. The former is easily accomplished but for the latter, it is often easier said than done. This is especially true when the consequences of a matter proved to incur a drastic effect which may change lives forever.

I am sure many of us encountered incidents/ misunderstandings whereby even though in our heart we may have forgiven that person who has hurt us, but over the years, it will somehow surface itself again. Subconsciously, it is still hidden somewhere, in the darkest corner. For we may have forgiven, we still have not forgotten. Does this means that we have not totally forgiven that person? For if we did, then why didn't our memory erased off that unhappy incident forever? Like a broken vase, it may be repaired but the cracks are still there. Clearly visble to the naked eye. But alas, our human brain is not a RAM, it doesn't get information erased off when we rest our mind to sleep akin to powering down a PC.

It is because we care about that person so much that we feel hurt and unhappy when bad things happened. If this person is not important to you, will you even bother to be angry with him for long? Imagine a stranger jumping queue in front of you. Yes, at that moment you'll be angry that you might even tell that person off. But you'll probably forgive and forget after a while. You might not even remember a single detail about that stranger. This is because that person is not of any importance to you. If we can easily forgive and forget a stranger who offended us in mere minutes, then why can't we be more magmanimous to our loved ones? Yet, the person that hurt us most is the person we loved most. Such irony. But life is just like that, isn't it? Full of ironies.