Way before I found my solace in blogging, I had the habit of penning down my thoughts and feelings using my email and saving them as drafts. I would revisit, re-read them again and again, either making amendments or adding new discoveries of my exisiting life and feeling melancholy about it.
Chanced upon this email I wrote some time back. It is no ordinary email or diary add-in of my daily acitivities. It epicts the most saddening years of my adulthood. How my life and perspectives have changed after all those happenings. My life back then was like a roller-coster ride. Moments of temporary highs and prolonged lows somehow engulfed my mind and soul. Caught in a state of confusion, denial, depression, detached and totally withdrawn. Even now, I shiver at the thought of it. Never, ever will I want to go through that experience again.
Yet, I couldn't deny the fact that through these unhappy incidents, I learnt alot of stuff about myself, people around me and the world that evolves around us. It is something that we can never learn through a class, never be imparted by a teacher, never be read in a book, never be surf from the net or can we ever anticipate and fully understand unless we go through it ourselves. It can only be felt from the inside where no words can be formed to describe.
I have come to accept that when it is time to let go, you have to let it go. No matter how much you wish for it to be by your side, no matter how much your heart yearns for it. If it is not meant to be, it will never be yours to being with. Appreciate what you have in life now and make the best out of it and never to take things for granted. You may have it today but it may be taken away from you tomorrow, when you least expect it. Reality hurts more than it claimed, yet it possess the naked truth where no one can acclaimed.