Coven Of My Darkest Secrets

Are you not the ONE? Vaguely in my DREAMS FRAY away not from me In your PRESENCE, my REFUGE, I seek my SOLACE My ESCAPISM from this futile, jaded BEING Of endless SORROW and fested with FALLACIES Encased in a SNOWGLOBE Imbued with LONGING Upon the RETURN Of your second COMING

Quiero Aprender Español

I got a Iphone as a gift lately and was very excited about it because of the many applications that I can download for free. Then it dawned upon me that I could perhaps pick up a new language using my new gadget, hence went search and downloaded a lite version (lite=FREE!). Here I am, embarking on my new journey to pick up some Español. My very first words that I had learnt last night:

1. playa ~ beach
2. puente ~ bridge
3. edificio (read as air-di-fi-sio) ~ building
4. iglesia ~ church
5. ciudad (read as q-dar) ~ city
6. fábrica ~ factory
7. granja (read as ger-run-ha) ~ farm
8. bosque (read as bos-k) ~ forest
9. fuente ~ fountain
10. colina ~ hill
11. lago ~ lake
12. mercado ~ market
13. montaña (read as mon-ta-nia) ~ mountain
14. museo (read as mu-say-yo) ~ museum
15. carretera ~ road
16. tienda ~ shop
17. calle (read as carl-yeah) ~ street
18. semáforo ~ traffic light
19. árbol ~ tree
20. pueblo - village

There you go, it seems pretty easy (maybe because I haven't got to the harder ones!) and I do have problem rolling my tongue to pronounce the rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Have fun!!

Adiós Amigo...

Christmas, A Joyous Celebration

Technically, it was not my first visit to PLMC since I had numerous occasions to grace the place, all thanks to the little 太子爷 at home. But it was my FIRST time attending a Sunday Mass though. The church, almost all, had the same way of welcoming newcomers and how do they identify you? Either you volunteered yourself or someone else volunteers you as 1st-timer. Nevertheless, I told my sister that we had to act as if we are old-timers and she thinks I am being crazy.

As I entered the Sanctuary, I was wow-ed by the majestic of the stained glass windows. The high pointed ceilings reminded me once again of how a chapel should look like, with my experience of church shopping in Europe a few years back. We walked in and settled on the side pews on the right, next to the sound systems. There on the stage, stood six, with one of them, a lady taking center-stage. I presumed she is the worship leader, whereas the musician resided by the side. She took the mic and started to sing. My, she had powerful vocals and as she worship and serenaded, the echo filled the whole sanctuary. What amazes me is that, I had always the notion that, Methodist churches are more solemn and only sing hymns. But boy, was I wrong! They sang upbeat songs just like my church and all other Charismatic/ Evangelistic etc churches do. I had never heard any of the songs before but they were melodious with beautiful lyrics that sings of GOD’s holiness and wonderfulness. My favourite part of the service has always been the praise and worship and is of no exception even in this church.

After the praise and worship, we were seated as we prepared our hearts for a time of giving, tithes that is, then came flowing from the side of stage, came four little kids, 3 girls and 1 boy. And they started to play on the strings of the harps. It was marvelously displayed, a slew of Christmas carols. They played really beautifully. You could feel their innocence, sincerity, and of course their hard work as well. I was touched and am sure God will be very proud of these little kids, to me, this is also a form of worship.

As Christmas approaches, with all the lightings decorations, gifts and endless playing of carols, let’s not forget the real meaning and purpose of Christmas. It is not a season for gathering and feasting only, it is a day that we all rejoice because a Messiah was born on this day, more than 2000 years ago. It was and still is a gift from GOD, a gift so heavy and precious that none of us is good enough to receive. But our GOD is a gracious GOD, full of compassion for His people. And that through His Son, Jesus Christ, we receive salvation. A gift so generously given to each of us, so as long we open our hearts to receive Jesus Christ, as our personal Saviour. He is knocking on the door of your heart, listen intently, did you hear it? He is waiting for you, no matter what happens, no matter how long it takes, He is always there, waiting for you to open that door and let Him into your heart. Have you open your door to Him yet?

Hiatus

It had been a good 3 months since I last posted anything. Had been extremely busy as I had recently taken up a project with a gf of mine. Almost done and I hope something good will come out of it...full of anticipation and excitement.

Apart from that, also embarking on another, well considered long-term project. It had taken a toll on me though, some sacrifices but I think it is all worth it. And it will take me months or even perhaps a year to see any initial results.

Are you getting lost already...wahahaha...I will reveal in time to come...lolx.

超级星光大道之新加坡PK赛 - 我的感想

我对超级星光大道这个节目已经久仰大名, 只不过我并不是电视谜, 也不太会追看. 不过, 我听说超级星光大道5, 即将有PK赛, 而且新加坡也派了四位参赛者前去PK. 自然而然, 激发了我对本节目的兴趣, 不断提醒自己一定要准时收看. 很庆幸我的记忆并没有衰退, 我既然记得扭开电视观赏这集的星光大道. 只有一句话能很贴切的形容这次代表新加坡去参赛的歌手们的表现, 那就是....赞! 他们的歌唱技巧和全程的表演和谦虚的态度都值得让全新加坡的人民感到骄傲. 我非常期待下一集更精彩的演出. 你也别错过喔! 来临的星期天, 晚上九点准时扭开您的电视频道到SCV ch56!

The Difference Between Man And GOD

When MAN disappoints you, GOD gives HOPE.
When MAN breaks your heart, GOD HEALS the wound.
When MAN is sad and sorrowful, GOD gives COMFORT.
When MAN has nowhere to go, GOD provides SHELTER and REFUGE.
When MAN fails you, GOD NEVER.
When MAN comes face-to-face with a dead end, GOD provides WAY OUT.
When MAN is down-and-out, and forsaken by all, GOD is ALWAYS there and never stop LOVING you.

委屈

Disappointed, taken for granted and finally, feeling 委屈. Human beings can be so self-centred, human beings can be so insensitive. Have you ever felt that when you are being nice, and doing a favor, you are taken for granted and your very own feelings and dignity being trampled all over? It may seemed a small matter but yet it shows the ugly side of human.

I just felt very disappointed and this is not the first time that it had happened to me. To me, this is basic manners, etiquette and reflects greatly on your upbringing. I would never do that to a friend....left me disconcerted. Kept asking if I am just being petty but I just felt a little insulted and feelings hurt. I pray to GOD that he will take away all these negative feelings. And for me to forgive that person and also to forget the whole matter.

LOUSY

I just feel lousy about myself recently...and I procastinate too much to do anything about it. Lack the motivation. Or is it just the MONDAY BLUES that make it worse? I don't know, I can't think properly and I think I am losing sanity and sprouting nonsense. ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Ghastly Disgusted Behaviour...

It is repulsive and totally distasteful display of one's character for showing eagerness in fishing for more details not because he/she is concerned but rather more on the context of having first hand news to gossip. Unbelievablely revolting. Just thinking about that face hankering over you (for intricate details of course) What a voracious appetite (for gossiping)! Can be full-pledged paparazzi already. Hands down. *kowtow* Your enthusiasm should be put into much better use, for eg, doing volunteer work or on how to make this universe a better living planet and not volunteering to spread gossips to others like a bullhorn. Please spare a thought for others' feelings.

FAITH Vol 2

Bought my 2nd album of the FAITH series...love the songs..been listening to it the whole morning. My favorite is...{You Are My All In All} and it goes something like this..

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all

Seeking you as a precious jewel
Lord to give you up I'll be a fool
You are my all in all
and so on...

A Positive Attitude in Life Worths Much More Than A Harvard Degree

I considered myself to be a peace-maker, not wanting to create a strife with any comrade at work. And always believe in having a positive attitude to learn even though it may be something totally new and strange to me. So in a way, whenever I am given a new task, I will never say no but rather I'll say I try. At the very end, even if the results are not promising, at least I DID try and put in my very best effort. A good qualification is a wonderful stepping board but a positive attitude brings you to greater heights and definitely opens you to more opportunities and discovering your inner-strengths (and at times weaknesses) that you never knew exists.

天冷就回来原声专辑之<恋之憩>

观看了{天冷就回来}之后, 又重新爱上了剧里头的每一首歌. 我和好友一同各买了一张天冷就回来原声专辑, 更让人兴奋的是我们得到了剧中演员的亲笔签名. 这是我第一次参加签名会, 想想..为了这部剧, 让我体会到两个"第一次"喔...哈哈. 听了原声专辑后, 不尽让我有许多回忆, 五味混杂的情绪又涌上心头. 接下来要和大家分享的这首歌, 有可能对一些人来说并不陌生. 我本身非常喜爱歌的旋律也觉得歌词很有意义...希望你也会喜欢. 梁文福的作品:

{恋之憩}

什么样的温柔
才能轻抚你的伤口
什么样的思念
才能牵走你忧愁
什么样的拥抱
才是你寂寞的尽头
什么样的守候
才能被你接受

你的眼是芬芳的醇酒
凝着许多记忆的深忧
我是未曾醉过的温柔
浅浅一尝就不愿罢休
你的眉是幽幽的港口
蹙着许多静静的绸缪
我是一个情感的水手
短短一驻就不愿再走

什么样的温柔
才能轻抚你的伤口
什么样的思念
才能牵走你忧愁
什么样的拥抱
才是你寂寞的尽头
什么样的守候
才能被你接受

你的眼是芬芳的醇酒
凝着许多记忆的深忧
我是未曾醉过的温柔
浅浅一尝就不愿罢休
你的眉是幽幽的港口
蹙着许多静静的绸缪
我是一个情感的水手
短短一驻就不愿再走

别再说你能不能够
只是问你接不接受
喔无言的你可知否
并非回忆才天长地久

你的眼是芬芳的醇酒
凝着许多记忆的深忧
我是未曾醉过的温柔
浅浅一尝就不愿罢休
你的眉是幽幽的港口
蹙着许多静静的绸缪
我是一个情感的水手
短短一驻就不愿再走

天冷就回来

上个星期六, 我生平第一次观赏我的第一场华文语音乐剧{天冷就回来}. 记得在2007年, 我无意中在一位朋友的blog上, 读到了她去观赏这部音乐剧之后的心情写照. 虽然我没办法把她当时的心情在这儿呈现给你, 但让我印象非常深刻的是她曾说过她很享受这部音乐剧. 还记得当我发现自己没有机会观赏时, 心情有点失望. 不过, 在一个很偶然的机会, 我游览SISTIC的网站时, 看到了{天冷就回来}这部音乐剧正在开始售票, 心情非常兴奋和喜悦. 立即照应志同道合的朋友一起观看. 最后, 我和我多年来的好友相约去看了.

我想, 言语无法很正确的形容我观赏{天冷就回来}后的心情. 意犹味尽吧, 很想再看一次. 因为剧情里, 除了有熟悉的画面之外也有少年时期熟悉的旋律. 剧中熟悉的歌曲全都是本地早期音乐才子, 梁文福的作品. 有大家所怀念的新谣也有的一时当红但不被遗忘流行歌曲. 剧中包涵了人生的喜怒哀乐, 分分离离, 每个人一生必定要作出的选择和人生道路. 当人世已非, 应沉醉在悲伤中还是该畅开胸怀, 重新生活? 当受到挫折时, 应向命运低头还是该坚持往理想的道路走下去? 当新的爱情来临, 是否应犹豫不决还是该勇往直前? 剧中不时也让我们体会到朋友的温暖与关怀, 长辈的劝导与教诲及恋人之间的爱与愁. 我本身觉得这部剧非常写实, 反映出我们现实生活中的点滴而且也很有新加坡feel. 虽然在剧场足足呆了将近三个小时, 可是一点都不觉得漫长因为I enjoyed every minute of it. 真的真的很享受...

A Laughing Stock

It was a busy weekends, at least for me, visiting graves and resting places of my loved ones during the Qing Ming Festival. Weather was extremely chaotic…it was hot and scorching on Saturday (I was totally burnt-out) and on Sunday, it was a heavy rainstorm that welcomed us. But thank GOD, by the time the sky decides to turn dark and nasty, we were already in the comfort of our home. But this is not what I am going to blog about, there’s nothing much to say about graves, burning incense papers and the crowd.

What was interestingly funny and to some extent, I found it self-degrading was a reality show that I watched later in the night. But it was the audition which I found it funny and stupid (the way the contestant presented themselves). One of the contestants, well I would say, an overly-confident lady, was so full of herself that I didn’t think she realized how ignorant and brainless she made herself out to be. What’s worse, it was on national television. She was blabbering about herself…how she thought she looked like a million-bucks (ok she said she looked like she was from a rich family background) but then there were also people who thought she looked like one of those in Geylang (who would admit that on tv, either she was plainly obtuse or extremely courageous, I go for the former). When asked about her intellect, she gave herself 10/10. Then she went on to talk about posture. How she got a good posture, whether standing or sitting, ok here’s the part I found it ludicrous. She mentioned that she didn’t slouch, unlike other girls who slouched when they sit on toilet bowl, but she never would. OMG!! Where in the world did that come from? Who cares if you slouch or not when you are doing your “business” in the toilet? Who goes around peeping at others? And of course there were other contestants who never failed to make a fool of themselves, or those who were dumb-founded when asked about the social/ political issues that they were concerned about? Can’t beauty and brains co-exist? Why do pageant like these featuresd only beautiful but brainless female counterparts? What’s worse, in my opinion, some of the girls weren’t even pretty. Well, ok, beauty is subjective but honestly, they are definitely no natural beauty. Ask them go au naturel, you’ll probably get plain janes. To me, beauty is beyond skin deep.

During the contest, the girls were up for a challenge of “Dog & Bone” and winning team gets to spend some time in the pool with the judges. The girls were numbered from 1-5, when their number is being called, they had to run to get the rugby ball and to run back to their team-mates before the other rival team catches up. The host was calling out the numbers, 1+1 and 2+3, and it took them some time to realize whose numbers were being called. One of the girls was complaining, can we not do so much mathematics? In the later part of the game, it started to get really messy when all numbers were called out. Can you imagine, bodies piling atop one another, hair pulling and in one instant, one of them was shouting, who was pulling my hair (tied-up ponytail) and another replied, I helped you to protect after your hair. Right at the end, the host found a hole in the rugby ball. When being interviewed, a contestant confessed that she was more concerned about her manicured nails and was pretty upset that she lost some of the crystals during the game. Wouldn’t there be more important issues to worry about? The way it looked, it was more like a catfight though.

At last, the verdict. The girls paraded, posed, in their bikinis and to show off their best assets to the judges before being graded as 1) Hell ,Yeah 2) You’ll Do 3) No, Thanks. In total embarrassment, a forlorn-looking contestant was given the all “NO THANKS” from 3 judges. After the judgment, I thought she looked even more shocked and dejected than ever. Why put yourself in such distressing situation and then to feel disconcerted?

On ending note, even though I find the whole episode downright degrading to us women (those who at least possess a sane mind), nevertheless it provides some laughter and I had to applaud them for their courage to be featured on national television in the most stupendous ridiculous way.

I Am Fat, My Hair Needs Colour, Please Ask Me Something Else...

It is really sickening everywhere you go, everyone you see, will either comment on your weight or hair or anything that has to do with your outward appearance. Or even worse, they asked if you are pregnant. Seriously, do I look that preggy to you? It is not that I don't admit that I had put on weight or my hair probably needs a visit to the salon. But it just gets on my nerves, is there nothing else to strike up a conversation other than these superficial, skin-deep questions? If there's nothing intelligent that you can speak of, please shut your gap up. If you had to speak in order not to appear being impolite, perhaps just smile, a simple hi and bye will do. It is so much easier, less threatening and definitely nothing awkward about it...sometimes less is more.

BW + Sepia

Do you know that the very first permanent photograph was created in 1826 by frenchman, Nicephore Niepce?

Do you also know that the birth of the very first colour photograph, a tartan
ribbon, was shown by James Clerk Maxwell in 1861?

It is amazing how the technology evolves from as early as 18th centuries.
For a more detailed readup on photography technology, you may explore the link below from Wikipedia.
Timeline of Photography

As the saying goes, a picture paints a thousand words. There is a story behind every image/ picture.

I had always been fascinated (and still am) by the evolution of visual arts, in particular, photography. I remembered we used to exhaust rolls of film to capture the happiness moments permanently. Of course, these images could also be etched in our memories but we are human afterall, limited by the capacity of our brains and how correctly these images are to be processed later. Unfortunately, it gets faded as time passed, our memory failed us and moments lost involuntarily. And then there were times of carelessness to expose the roll to the sunlight and the captured moments got lost forever.

There was this incident, I recalled vividly, where I volunteered to be the photographer for the gathering. But the images didn't get processed because the film was not inserted properly. But with the modern technology, we no longer have to worry about making the blunder. No need to fret about wasting $ to develop the film, only to find out that it was not taken properly. No longer needed to worry about how the photos would turn out because you can -retake and not worry about wasting the film like you used to. Or alternatively, there is Adobe Photoshop to do editing and beautify the not-so-perfect images. It is so convenient now and easily accessible to beautiful pictures, anytime, anywhere.

Personally, I am fond of Polaroid. To my dismay, it was announced to be discontinued in 2006. Though it has its limitations, but I find Polaroid shots more intrinsic, genuine and natural. And also how the image came out in seconds, and the colours coming into view shortly. There is a vintage edge to Polariod shots. Of all kinds of images, I love them most in B&W or SEPIA. Very timeless pieces. I have strong infliction towards them, as if, they (images) are calling out to me, into whatever it might be. Whether it is the landscapes, architectural works or human faces. I just find them very inviting, extremely beguiling.

What do you think is the story behind this picture?

I see LOVE/ COURAGE/ IDYLLIC/ TRANQUILITY/ QUIET MOMENTS and more....

(Image courtesy of Getty Images)
Rowing Away

LUCKY

I fell in love with this song, by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Existentialist Angst

Existentialist Angst.Existentialist Angst.Existentialist Angst.Existentialist Angst.Existentialist Angst.Existentialist Angst.Existentialist Angst

Blues Monday Blues

I feel extremely lousy this morning, (I mentioned morning instead of day because I hope it get better as the day proceeds), very uneasy and queasy. Feelings quite nondescript, dull, lethargic, restless, foul mood...everything mix together...rojak...but in a bad way. Even I am not talking much sense now. Two things on my mind now that I think contributes to the lousy mood I am experiencing now. It is abit of the former, but I guess it is more of the latter. It never failed to let me dream endlessly, feeling tired as ever, longing for something so aimlessly. Draining all my energy to the very last bit that I had nothing left for the day. But yet, I cannot resist the lure and had to admit the effect it has on me, never able to put it away from my mind. It kinda pull me away from the reality into the other world that I am enslaved to be in, willingly. OMG....this is getting more morbid than I give credit for...urgh.

20.03.2009

We visited Dad's grave today, yes..all of us, including Mum. It was a long quiet drive, especially during the last stretch of the journey, when we passed by the ever serene reservoir just before reaching our destination. As I turned in, again, the silence consumed the surroundings. It is abit of both the serenity and scary type of silence. The quietness, away from the bustling traffic but also scarce of human activity.

大姐 bought some flowers, for both Dad and 3rd Uncle. Within minutes, we reached Dad's urn. He look the same (the photo of course), Mum cleaned it with a wet cloth, it turned out to be quite dusty. Within seconds, it was all dried up as the droplets of water evaporated as quickly as it was left lingering on the surface just awhile ago. Tried to re-arrange the flowers, squeezing and placing them together, both the fresh and fake ones, and also the only hand-made bunch by 二姐. We lingered there for awhile, not making much conversation, as if we were each enjoying a thought-provoking and silence chat with Dad. It seemed like just yesterday that Dad was with us but no, it had been exactly two years and a month since he left us. But the pain is still fresh and I had to fight back my tears and try to remain calm.

Then automatically, almost in the same motion, we set to walk to 3rd Uncle's on the other block just behind Dad's. Was I imagining things, but I thought the photo was little fading, or properly due to the reflection against the sunlight. Mum left the other side of the clean wet cloth to wipe Uncle's as she spoke to him, telling him she had come to visit. Fresh flowers were again, squeezed into the small space. We stayed for a brief moment, before we all proceeded back to Dad's. Again, we stood in silence. I guess, none of us know what to say. And then, we left. We will visit again soon, when Qing Ming arrived in weeks.

Next destination, AMK Hub for lunch. As I drove, I realised it had been some time since we all went out together....just the four of us..without the noisy kids and the boring-looking SIL(haha)...but it looks like only me and 大姐 are enjoying the sushi and sashimi. 二姐 is on a vegetarian diet, I don't understand why she had to torture herself...depriving herself of great food, lying right in front of her. Mum had already taken her lunch so I just ordered her favourtie Inari for her. It was a quick lunch and we walked a little. It was a nice and lazy afternoon to spend together. I realised I missed family time. And it was nice...without all the shouting and screaming at the boys...without the boring looks on the 2 SIL, and just us...simple and nice.

But time passed when you are having fun, having a good time, so we went home after 大姐 picked up a book somewhere in YCK. Then it was back home where all of the 2 sisters laze around and me going for a jog (it didn't end up in a jog as stadium was closed for sports meet)...and I went home and laze around like them, while waiting for the boys to be home, and the beginning of yet another crazy screaming/ shouting session ever....

Dreams

It had been quite some time since I last had a dream and able to remember it so vividly even after awakening hours. I dreamt of a loved one, who had passed on, I dreamt of dad. It had been 2 years since he left us physically, but he was never away from us mentally nor spiritually. I missed my dad, whenever I looked at the graduation photo that is hanging by the wall in the living room, I wished he wasn't taken away from us. I wished we had more time to tell him we love him, I wished we can show our filial to him. I wished for many things, I wished we had been more fervently in sharing the gospel with him. I wished...I wished for some more time with him. But no matter how hard I wish, I knew time cannot be turned back.

So, please, I beesech you, do appreciate the people around you. Love them while you can.

Dedicated Especially For My Friend, HuiFen

HuiFen, I am so shocked to hear about what happened to you. At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. But as I read on, all the messages that your friends left for you on FB, and after confirmation from a mutual friend, I cried. Although it had been years since we last met, I still remembered vividly the times when we would go home together during school days. I would even dropped by your house and it so happened that you were in the same primary school as my cousin since you all lived in the same area.

After "O" levels, we didn't really keep in touch but fate brought us together when I made a visit to NewAsiaBar where you were working back then. Though we still didn't get to meet up, but we managed to keep in contact through emails and networks.

To hear that you had left us, I feel very sad. I still couldn't believe that you were gone. You had such a bright future ahead of you, a vibrant life full of hopes and dreams. May your soul rest in peace, you'll always be missed and remembered fondly.

Goodbye My Friends

Today is a very sad and disheartening day, in the midst of the bleak economy, 3 of my fellow workers were given the golden handshake. This is one of the cost-cutting measures (though I feel it is rather drastic) but in times like these, it is inevitable. Despite numerous warnings about cost-cutting, it never crossed my mind that we will need to "r" peeps.
Perhaps, I had been through it (but current employer did it alot more civil than my previous) and I can't help but feel sad.

Now that I looked back, it was a blessing in disguise to be "axe" back then than now when the market situation is really really really at its very worst. As hopeless as the situations may seem, I know that I am in good hands, hands of GOD.

Two Zero Zero Nine

Happy New Year!!