It is as depressing as it is daunting for the past few months, I can almost feel the somber atmosphere still lingering…many people had passed on…among whom were my dearest dad and uncle. It affected me a lot to see my uncle’s health deteriorated, to see him getting weaker each day (he weighed a meagre 36kg), and finally to succumb to his illness as the organs malfunctioned and everything came to an end. But what’s more appalling and deplorable was not the illness itself, but was not seeing the support and love he should have gotten from his very own family.
I cannot comprehend and to a certain extent, am infuriated. You could say people dealt with grief differently but definitely not with playing mahjong and laughing away when relatives were mourning and helping to watch over the night. The end result: left mourning relatives disgusted, abhorrent and disapproval at their behaviour.
Even during the days when my uncle was struggling to fight with his illness in the hospital, they weren’t anywhere near him. Ironically, it was the nieces/ nephews/ sisters/ brothers who dared to come into contact with him. Stroking and talking to him…with words of encouragement, telling him how much we love him, giving him the support so that he had the will to fight on. He was on breathing support (100%) initially, but his condition improved that the support reduced to 50%.
How disheartening it was when the person whom you pledged to spend your life with in sickness or in health, was considering about giving up. No matter how strong-willed you may be, if you were to hear that your family had entertained the thoughts of giving your life up on your behalf, I think you would have lost all fighting spirit.
When they wanted to move him to a hospital nearer to their home, I thought their intention was to shorten the traveling time. But it turned out that, despite it was within walking distance, they weren’t there most of the time. How grief-stricken! Don’t they want to spend more time with him since they knew that time was brief and precious?
Is it human nature? To regret and lament about the loss only when it was too late?
On a lighter note, at least I know that he was no longer subject to all the sufferings. May he rest in peace and may the Lord bestowed grace and mercy upon him.