Unsound Mind

Unsound - Suffering from severe mental illness; mentally ill or unstable

Mind - The intellectual or rational faculty in man; the understanding; the intellect; the power that conceives, judges or reasons; also, the entire spiritual nature; the soul; - often in distinction from the body

*Citations from Webster Online Dictionary*

My encounter with a mentally unsound being, greatly disturbs me. The aftermath, left me disconcerted. Unkempt, bespectacled, and adorned with a backpack. To add on my misforture, to have bump into him TWICE. First, on a wet day. Second, on a monday morning (read: double the dosage of blues). Definitely not a very pleasant way to start my day.

If looks can kill, I'll probably be dead by now. His stare, cold and empty. Transfixed unwavering onto you, watching your every movement and actions. My nightmare was not over or so I thought when my bus came. Apparently not wanting the chance for him to be seated by my side, I moved myself to occupy the outer seat. Itchiness caused me to clear my throat with a cough. THEN....just like he did the first time (to imitate my actions), initiating a cough, splattering his saliva all over my arm and part of my face. Itchiness ensued which caused my arm in redness due to wiping and scratching violently to remove any traces of his unpleasant discharge. What's more abhorrent is that he seem pretty gratified in his own actions.

It's shuddering, slightly traumatised and queasy for me throughout the bus ride which seemed to be exceedingly long for such a short distance.

Since I am not due to return for work (read: I quitted) unless I am really down on my luck, allayed any fears of meeting this loathsome weirdo anymore. Indeed, nothing can be more unpleasing than this. Need some TLC at this moment, to tranquilize the mind. Not paranoid, but I think I need to go cleanse myself again.

Sentiments

Albeit the felicitation
Lies unwarranted anxiety
Life is full of uncertainties
Of those beyond comprehensible

Composure to absolute countenance
Of these I am unable to retain
Perplexity ensued
Splintering every bit of assurance

Totally depleted
Of every sense and energy
Am bushed by pessimism
When will it cease to oppress?

被风吹过的夏天

还记得昨天那个夏天
微风吹过的一瞬间
似乎吹翻一切
只剩寂寞更沉淀

如今风依旧在吹
秋天的雨跟随心中的热却不退
仿佛即使闭着双眼
熟悉的脸又会浮现在眼前

蓝色的思念
突然演变成了阳光的夏天
空气中的温暖
不会更遥远
冬天已仿佛不在留恋

绿色的思念
回首对我说一声四季不变
不过一季的时间
又再回到从前
那个被风吹过的夏天

还记得昨天那个夏天
微风吹过的一瞬间
似乎吹翻一切
只剩寂寞更沉淀

风依旧在吹
秋天的雨跟随心中的热却不退
仿佛继续闭着双眼
熟悉的脸又浮现在眼前

蓝色的思念
突然演变成了阳光的夏天
空气中的温暖
不会更遥远
冬天已仿佛不在留恋
绿色的思念
回首对我说一声四季不变
不过一季的时间
又再回到从前
那个被风吹过的夏天

蓝色的思念
突然演变成了阳光的夏天
空气中的温暖
不会更遥远
冬天已仿佛不在留恋
绿色的思念
回首对我说一声四季不变
不过一季的时间
又再回到从前
那个被风吹过的夏天

那一风吹过的夏天

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A Day To Remember

29th September 2005, a day to remember. My status reduced to half a derelict (@ least I got a home). Despite, it'll be an occasion to celebrate. For my days of sufferings (in silence) shall see daylight and no longer will I be under his unwarranted and unfavourable demeanour. Derogatory remarks deemed unnecessary (but I just can't help it), closure is greatly favoured. Palsy-walsy will eventually re-surfaced as hyprocritical. Stop gawking lest you'll be sued for sexual harrassment, for it's an outrage of modesty to pass such remarks. Do respect your co-workers the same way respect is due to you. Enough is enough. Ditto.

Though the road that lies ahead will be a long and winding path (what a pessimist), lined with challenges, but I believe, is to mould me into a stronger person (now what, an optimist??).

On hindsight, a revelation revealed. Days get better, future shines brighter.

4 more days to go and counting...

Should I Or Should I Not?

Recently, I posed a question to a friend of mine (obviously) and his conjecture? "It is better to have tried and failed, then not to have tried at all". Hmm..thought provoking and mind boggling. Then again, implored a few other couple of friends for "enlightenment". A handful of opinions. Some for it, others against it.

Decision? Why not? It doesn't hurt to give it a try. Let's just wait and see what happens in the next few days. Keep you updated...stay tuned.

Mystified Night

The solitude and melancholy of the night never failed to inspire me to spill my thoughts onto the web. It is through the darkest and quietest hours that slowed my being to a standstill, allowing recollection to take place.

What's been pondering over my mind, lingering on my soul? In life, there are many lessons yet to be learnt. I am still learning...

The Days of September

You can never envisage how enduringly aching are the days of September. The feelings of exasperation, resentment, vexation and provocation are intertwined to such an extent of aggravation that it had become almost inconsolable.

The days are exceedingly torturous, of excruciating pain, undesirable mental distress and ghastly agony. Detrimental to health and a sound mind. Increasingly disturbing, I need to strengthen my mental constitution. Somehow, some way (in the midst of a resolution).

However, despite the adversity....I am bestowed with a lucid innate understanding of the human heart. It can be shockingly narrow-minded, abhorrent and detestable. Appendages crossed for its existence only as remnants pests of our society.

His utterly obnoxious behaviour greatly intensifies his vindictive self as opposed to his self-assured and widely self-acclaimed philantrophy personality. Beware, a cunning wolf hiding in sheep's clothing. Highly deceptive, purely hallucination.

As he regards himself as an indispensable member, he haughtily assumed (that's making an ASS out of U and ME) he had the jurisdiction to rule, to command and to conquer the human hearts with his treacherous actions and words. Yet, due to defective refraction of the eyes, deficiency in the sense of hearing, taciturn and intellectually-challenged (read:blind, deaf, mute and dumb), the fellow "worshippers" credulously yielding themselves to his preposterous dictation, gratifying in absolute self-deceit. Or should I say, the birds of the same feather flock together?

It proved to be an arduous journey for me. Providence shall see me through with endurance and perseverance. And finally, to emerge tenaciously, not bowing nor submitting to a tyrant. I prayed fervently for GOD's enlightment, and to sanctify my heart that I may find peace and serenity in His presence.

G.O.D.I.V.A

Had a little surprise from a good friend today...totally overwhelmed by her sweet gesture and innermost thoughts. It does chase away the blues that Monday brings.

Went to the ladies and upon returning to my cubicle, saw a paper bag on my chair. I was wondering who put it there till i saw a little tiny stick-on notepad, with a little message. I open the paper bag...inside it was a box and a card. To my amazement, it was a box of GODIVA chocolates. I remembered visiting GODIVA with her on one of the Friday, I was commenting on being a "sua gu" (read:mountain tortise) if I never had the chance to taste it. She persuaded me not to buy and reminded me that I was on a diet and exercise regime. Heeded her advice, unknowingly about the plans she had in mind.

I was thrilled to receive the delectable chocolate (OMG!!! Truffles, my favourites), but what touched me most were the contents written on the card. Those are words from the bottom of her heart.

Here's something from the bottom of my heart too....

Gal, thanks for your time all these while. Your presence has make my life in A**** so much more bearable. With you around, I had a reason to come to work without the feeling a tinge of drag-ness (coined by moi). Time passes so quickly that I had to say adieu to you...but this will not be a permanent departure for I believe in days to come, we will still keep in touch. No doubt, the days we shared together, shopping, chatting, bitching, laughing, snacking etc will be missed by me. But it'll always be remembered in my heart.

Without work on hand ever since I tendered my resignation, I am just dwadling my time away. It can be so slow and tortuous but yet I looked forward everyday to spend lunchtime together with you. This is the least I can do for you as I was unable to keep my promise to stay at least a year. But you have been very understanding towards me and my circumstances. Thank you for your kindess all these while.

You have just been added to my list of "guardian angels". GOD is indeed wonderful...because during my life journey, HE never failed to send me an angel along the way.

Finally, thanks for the card and the GODIVA choco-bits...ni yong xin liang ku!!!

Rainy Friday

I love the scent of the cool air after a heavy downpour, feel the crisp wind rustling through my hair, embracing this refreshing moment. It seemed to wash away whatever troubles that are lingering on my mind. Cleansed away the old me, renewing me once again...